Sober
by Ash M. Knight
Summary: Ruby Lucas and Regina Mills weren't really close when it all happened. In fact, there was some contention, and there had always been somewhat harsh banter between them. But when Ruby struggles and needs someone to lean on, Regina steps up in a big way, and the feelings they have for each other morph into something very different. RedQueen.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: Tigger warnings for graphic depictions of violence and drug use.**

* * *

They weren't really close when it all happened. In fact, there was some contention, and there had always been somewhat harsh banter between them.

But it all changed when Ruby said, "This one's on me."

Regina frequented Granny's diner quite a bit. Her mayoral office was boring, and her secretary was exceptionally annoying, so she brought her laptop to the diner to work through her lunch. Ruby, of course, was the waitress there. They didn't speak much, other than for Regina to order whatever she was having, so when Ruby offered to pay for her apple and her coffee, it was fair to say that the mayor was shocked.

"W-Why?" Regina managed to ask, after staring at Ruby, dumbfounded, for several moments.

Ruby shrugged and replied, "You look stressed today."

Lips parting, Regina continued to stare, surprised by Ruby's observation and perceptiveness.

When Ruby realized that the mayor wasn't going to speak, she shrugged again and announced, "I'll be right back."

When Ruby brought the apple and coffee, Regina opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out.

Luckily, Ruby saved the day by saying, "I hope you have a nice day, Madam Mayor."

This was so abruptly out of character for Ruby that all Regina could manage was a stuttered, "T-Thank you."

~!~!~

Upon returning to her office, Regina found herself staring off into space as she examined Ruby's expression in her mind. _What the hell was that about?_ she wondered, still confused by Ruby's sudden gesture of kindness. _Why was she so nice to me?_

This thought remained in Regina's head for the rest of the evening and stretched out into her dreams.

'_Hi, gorgeous,' Ruby greeted Regina, upon her entering the diner. 'What can I get you, princess?'_

_Regina smirked and replied, 'Anything that tastes like you.'_

_With a grin, Ruby leaned in and kissed her lips._

Regina woke abruptly from the incredibly short dream in a cold sweat.

"What the hell is wrong with me?" Regina asked herself out loud, shaking her head in an attempt to shake the thoughts away.

The next day, Regina was hesitant to enter the diner. _Is it going to be awkward? _Regina wasn't sure, and the unknown put her on edge. Again, she thought,_ Why was she so nice to me?_

Luckily for Regina, it wasn't all that awkward. In fact, Ruby simply offered a weak smile and a nod upon seeing her enter.

"Morning," Ruby greeted her shortly, once she'd chosen a booth in the back of the establishment.

"Good morning to you, too, Miss Lucas," Regina managed to say, finding herself being far more polite than usual.

Now, it wasn't that Regina wasn't polite most of the time. At least, she tried to be. For most people. But with Ruby, in the past, they had shared a few quips and disagreements – usually over town business, during town hall meetings – so it was strange for both of them to be exceptionally civil.

By the time Regina dug into her work, however, she felt a headache coming on in full-force as she rubbed her temples to try to calm the throbbing pain. Ruby noticed and immediately made her way to the table.

"Are you alright?" the younger woman asked gently. "You look like you're in pain."

"Yes, well… I do have a bit of a headache."

"I've got ibuprofen in the back. I'll go get it."

"You don't have to—" Regina tried to protest, but Ruby was gone in an instant.

When Ruby returned with the bottle of ibuprofen, Regina wanted to protest again, but she found herself so incredibly grateful for the painkillers that she accepted them.

"Thank you, Miss Lucas."

"You can call me Ruby, you know," Ruby chuckled. "I think you know me a little too well to keep calling me, 'Miss Lucas.' Plus, it's pretty annoying, and it sounds forced."

There was the quip.

"Well… _Ruby… _I'll have you know that I don't _force _anything. I simply have propriety and standards."

"Well… _Madam Mayor… _I'll have _you _know that I have _none _of that," Ruby laughed, grinning at the woman seated in the booth.

Regina rolled her eyes but couldn't prevent the smile that crept over her lips as she replied, "I noticed."

"Nice," Ruby chuckled. "Real nice."

"Listen… Ruby… Things between us…" Regina tried, but Ruby shook her head, cutting the mayor off.

"Some things are better left unsaid, you know? I just… I figure we can put it behind us."

"You think so…?"

"If you want to."

"Do you?"

"I'd like to, yes. I mean, if you're going to come in here every flippin' day and harass me with requests for coffee, we might as well be civil," Ruby replied with a grin.

Again, Regina rolled her eyes, "You really are something else, Miss Lucas."

"Please. It's Ruby."

"Ruby…" Eyes locking, Regina felt a strange sensation of warmth spreading through her as she added, "Thank you. Really."

"I know we've had our disagreements – and I think we always will – but we're sort of stuck in the same town, and that's not changing any time soon, so I figure I can try to be nice."

Regina offered a small smile as she nodded her head and said, "Agreed."

~!~!~

During Regina's next trip to the diner, Ruby smiled brightly at her and brought her an apple and a coffee without her even ordering it. After setting it carefully on the table in front of the mayor, Ruby slid into the other side of the booth.

"Good morning," she said cheerfully. "How are you, Madam Mayor?"

"You can call me Regina."

"Anyway… How are you?" Ruby chuckled.

"Better now," Regina confessed. "Has anyone ever told you that you have a nice a smile?"

"Sorry… What?" Ruby asked, mouth hanging open.

"And that you're a bit dense?"

"What?"

Laughing, Regina explained, "It needed to be said. Anyway, how are _you_, Ruby?"

"I'm doing great, actually. Better now."

Regina raised an eyebrow as the corner of her mouth turned up into a smirk, asking, "Is that so?"

"Yeah. It is so."

"It's good to see you happy, Ruby."

"I'm always happy," Ruby teased.

"No one is _always _happy, Ruby," the mayor retorted.

"True," Ruby conceded. "You certainly are grumpy most of the time."

Regina let out an exaggerated gasp as she cried, "Well, I _never!_"

Ruby just laughed and shook her head, rising from the booth as she said, "I'll see you later, Regina."

~!~!~

When Regina didn't show up at the diner the next day, Ruby found herself surprisingly concerned. The mayor _always _came in on weekdays, during her lunch hour. _Something must have happened, _Ruby reasoned.

"Hey, Granny," she called out behind the kitchen. "I'm gonna take my break."

"Oh, no you don't! It's lunchtime, and we—"

"Bye!"

After grabbing two cups of coffee, Ruby made her way to the mayor's office.

"I'm here to see the Mayor," Ruby informed the woman's secretary.

At first, the secretary looked at her quizzically, taking in her revealing outfit and low-cut blouse, but Ruby coughed loudly to bring her back into the moment.

"Now, please?" Ruby pressed impatiently, being as polite as she could possibly manage.

"I'll let her know you're here…" the secretary said hesitantly, rising from her seat and slipping into the mayor's office.

When she returned, she looked somewhat disgruntled as she announced, "You may enter now."

Unable to stop herself from rolling her eyes at the ridiculous formality, Ruby entered the mayor's office.

As soon as she saw Regina, who was looking down at her paperwork with a serious expression, Ruby smiled. It quickly faded, though, when Regina lifted her gaze, looking solemn and fatigued.

"What can I do for you, Miss Lucas?"

"Regina… We went over this. Please, call me Ruby."

"Yes, of course. I apologize. Today has been… Well, it's been a ride."

Raising an eyebrow, Ruby approached the desk and sat the mayor's coffee down in front of her.

"This is for you. I didn't see you at lunch so I figured you might be missing your afternoon pick-me-up."

"Ruby," Regina said. "You really didn't have to do that…"

"I didn't mean to bother you," Ruby assured her. Then, she chuckled, "But damn, your secretary looked horrified when she saw me."

"Well… Your outfit is a bit… um… revealing. We don't often see many… um…"

"You can call me a slut," Ruby laughed. "Granny does."

Looking shocked, Regina's eyes went wide.

"Ruby," she said seriously. "I would never call you a slut."

"You've called me a lot of things. Why not that?"

"Well… because it would be really awful of me to say that to you. And I'm quite done with saying awful things to you."

With a slight smile, Ruby sat down in the chair across from Regina's desk.

"It's good to see you," the younger woman confessed.

"Ruby…" Regina started, biting her lip. "What you did for me today was very kind. Would you care to join me for dinner tonight? I'm making my famous lasagna. It's Henry's favorite."

Knowing it was quite the rare occurrence for Regina to allow anyone anywhere near her son, Ruby raised an eyebrow as she replied, "Are you… Are you sure? You really don't owe me anything. I was just… paying it forward, I guess."

"You don't owe me anything either. You don't need to pay it forward."

"You know, Regina… If you're serious about dinner… I could honestly really use some company right now."

This earned a smile from Regina, which spread infectiously to Ruby in an instant.

"I'm quite serious. Besides… Henry likes you."

"He what?" Ruby asked, shocked by the comment.

"Well, actually, I think he has a bit of a crush on you."

"Holy—"

"Can't really blame the poor boy. He's a teenager now, and you have the best breasts in town. Not to mention—"

"Sorry… What?" Ruby gaped.

Regina leaned back in her chair and watched the continued look of shock on Ruby's face intensify.

"You'll find, upon spending more time with me, that although I have propriety and class, I say what I mean and rarely regret it. I've also been told I have no shame."

Doubling over with laughter, Ruby felt tears form in her eyes.

"Oh, my God," she cackled. "You really are something else."

"That's what they tell me," Regina replied with a grin.

"I should get going," Ruby sighed, wiping the tears of laughter from her eyes. "I'll see you tonight?"

"Six?"

"Sure thing. I'll be done my shift around 5:15, so that should give me enough time to change into something more… suitable."

Raising an eyebrow of curiosity, Regina told her, "I look forward to it."

~!~!~

When Ruby arrived at 108 Mifflin Street – the mayor's mansion at edge of Storybrooke – Regina was surprised to find her dressed rather conservatively, with only a small amount of her cleavage showing as she wore a simple yet classy, tight-fitting black dress. Her hair was down, and her flowing curls – which were usually straight – were bouncing around her shoulders as she walked into the foyer of the mansion. Regina had to notice.

"Wow, Ruby," the mayor said softly, giving Ruby a very obvious once-over. "You look… different."

"Good different or bad different?" Ruby laughed. "I know you prefer your women… _exposed_. Should I have worn less?"

"Oh, my God, Ruby. That's ridiculous. How do you even know that I like—"

"Oh, _please. _You're as gay as they get, Madam Mayor," Ruby challenged, howling with laughter. "I notice when you stare, Regina."

"Awfully bold this evening, aren't we?" Regina grumbled, leading her companion into the kitchen. While Ruby stood beside her, smiling proudly, the mayor asked, "Wine? Cider?"

"Wine, please."

"White or red?"

"Red, of course!" Ruby teased, playfully bumping Regina's shoulder.

"I should've known," Regina chuckled, shaking her head as she expertly poured the glass of Cabernet Sauvignon.

"Fancy wine for the mayor, huh?" the younger brunette commented with a smirk, gazing into Regina's eyes as she was handed the wine glass.

"No. Only for my guests. I don't partake in any alcohol consumption other than hard apple cider. Wine is not my… preference."

"But have you ever tasted a fine wine on a woman's lips?"

Staring, somewhat taken aback by this comment and the boldness of it, Regina replied, "Well… No. I suppose not."

"It's an experience."

"I'm sure…" Regina mused, looking Ruby over with curiosity.

"Anyway, it would change your mind about wine, I think."

Regina chuckled and gently tugged Ruby's arm to usher her into the living room.

"Please, sit," Regina welcomed her, gesturing to the couch.

"Where's the little guy?" Ruby asked, as she sat down carefully on the leather couch.

"Henry is upstairs doing his homework," the mayor explained. "I told him he couldn't come down until it was done."

"Good work, Mom," Ruby announced with a grin. "Such a good parent."

Raising an eyebrow at this, Regina asked, "You think so?"

Suddenly serious, Ruby nodded, stating, "Yeah. I do. He's a wonderful young man, and he only has you to thank for that."

"And Emma…"

"You raised him, Regina. I love Emma as much as the next girl – and she does have great biceps – but you're the one who made him the man he is today."

"Hmm…"

"You should take some credit for you hard work, Regina," Ruby told her, placing a warm hand on Regina's thigh, which was bare where the skirt of her dress was riding up slightly.

A little while later, after more playful conversation – and plenty of teasing from Ruby – Regina heard the timer go off in the kitchen and announced, "That's dinner. Make yourself comfortable in the dining room, and I'll be right in."

"Can I go get Henry?" Ruby asked with a smile. "I miss that little guy."

"Of course."

Ruby returned from her trip up the stairs with Henry in tow, both of them wearing broad, bright smiles.

"What are you two up to?" Regina asked suspiciously, fully noticing the mischievous look on their faces.

"Oh, nothing!" Ruby sang, pulling Henry into the dining room with her as Regina sighed, shook her head, and disappeared back into the kitchen.

"Holy shit, Regina," Ruby breathed, after only one bite of the lasagna. "This is incredible."

"Ruby," Regina said sternly, but felt herself stifling a laugh. "Watch your mouth around Henry, please."

"Oh, shit. Sorry."

"Ruby!"

Henry burst out laughing at this, tickled pink by Ruby's obvious defiance.

"No, seriously, though," Ruby said, abruptly serious. "My bad." Then, turning to Henry, she said, "Henry, don't say anything I say. Anything at all. Mom will get mad and you'll be in big trouble. I'm a terrible role model."

"Nuh-uh!" Henry cried. "You're great, Ruby! I wish you could come over _all _the time."

Ruby blushed and looked over at Regina, who was smiling warmly as she watched the interaction between her son and her guest. Henry was right, in what he was implying. There was something about Ruby that just seemed to _fit._

~!~!~

The next day, when Regina saw Ruby at the diner, the younger brunette was quick to approach her.

"Hey," she said softly, leaning against the table. "Last night was really nice. I enjoyed your company immensely. Thank you for having me."

Raising a surprised eyebrow, Regina replied, "You're very welcome, dear. It's really no trouble. I enjoyed your company as well, to be honest. It's been a long time since I've had a guest in the house." After a pause, Regina added, "I think it was good for Henry too. He adores you."

"Yeah?"

Regina nodded and offered a warm smile before Granny grabbed Ruby arm and barked, "Back in the kitchen, girl! You think this is social hour?"

Rolling her eyes, Ruby flashed Regina one last smile before following her grandmother back into the kitchen.

When Ruby came back around to offer Regina another drink, the mayor declined.

"I need to get back to the office," she sighed, knowing full well she was reluctant to leave.

Before Ruby could say her goodbyes and wish Regina a good day at work, Regina pressed a napkin into the palm of her hand.

"Call me later."

Ruby's eyes went wide as she squeezed the napkin protectively.

"T-Thank you, Regina… I…" Ruby started, blushing. "I'll call after my shift and make sure it's not after eight, so I don't wake Henry."

"Call any time, Ruby. I keep my phone on vibrate at night, so I know when someone's calling, but it doesn't wake him."

"I wouldn't—"

"Ruby… Any time. Really."

Cheeks turning a brighter shade of red, Ruby nodded weakly and tried to force a smile, but found herself feeling too shockingly shy to make it happen.

"H-Have a good day, Regina," Ruby stuttered, nodding her head as a parting goodbye and turning to leave Regina to collect her things and head back to the office.

~!~!~

For whatever reason – Regina wasn't sure why – the mayor sat on her couch after putting her son to bed and held her cell phone tightly in her hand, finding herself feeling the jitters of anticipation as she waited for a call from Ruby.

Around ten-thirty, after a glass of hard cider, Regina fell asleep on the couch, lying down with her phone resting on her chest. Shortly thereafter, she was startled awake by the unmistakable sensation of the phone's vibration.

She answered immediately and sounded a bit startled when she said, "Hello?"

"Hey, Regina," Ruby said slowly, feeling her nerves get the best of her.

Something about the whole situation was strange and unfamiliar. They had never been so tolerant of each other, and now things seemed to be even beyond simple tolerance. In fact, they were actually enjoying each other's company.

"Did I wake you?" Ruby asked gently, when Regina didn't speak right away.

"What? No, I—"

"I totally woke you," the younger woman laughed nervously. "Sorry. I knew I should've—"

"No! No. It's perfectly alright. I did say any time. What time is it, anyway?"

"Eleven-fifteen. Should I let you get back to sleep?"

"Ruby, stop. I told you any time, and I meant any time. Now, tell me… How are you? How was the rest of your shift?"

Taken aback by the care and sincerity in Regina's voice, Ruby replied, "It was alright. Kinda missed you."

Again, Regina went silent. Had she really just said…?

"Regina?" Ruby asked anxiously, hearing only silence.

"Yes! Yes, sorry. I… I was just thinking."

"What were you thinking about?"

"What you said, of course," the mayor laughed. "And how it would've been nice to have been able to finish the day out at the diner, with you around."

"Is that so, Madam Mayor?" Ruby teased, suddenly finding a spark of confidence.

Regina thought for a moment, then replied, "It is so."

Then, Ruby mused, "Anyway, _I_ was thinking about diarrhea sex."

"You _what?_"

"Well, I saw this thing online—"

"Jesus Christ, Ruby!"

"What? I wasn't—Oh, GOD. No, no, no. I wasn't _watching _diarrhea sex! It was _mentioned _in a meme!"

"In a what?"

"Oh, Lord, Regina. Have you been living under a rock, or what? Don't you use the internet?"

"Well, I certainly don't use it to look up diarrhea sex!" the mayor cried, dumbfounded Ruby's bold and relatively inappropriate choice of conversation subject matter.

"I mean, think about it," Ruby said pensively. "Who does that shit? Ha-ha. Get it? I said who does that shit."

"Dear God, you are something else."

"_Think _about it! I mean, how weird do you have to be to want someone to shit all over you?"

"Are we _really_ discussing diarrhea sex right now?"

"Yeeep," Ruby giggled. "You love it. Wait… Do you love it? Are you into _diarrhea sex?!_"

"What?!" Regina gaped. "Are you fucking serious right now? Of _course _not! Who does that?"

"THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING!" Ruby shouted excitedly.

"Okay, enough. No more diarrhea sex."

"Yeah, yeah," Ruby mumbled grumpily. "Anyway… I think you and Henry should come over and let me cook for you."

"Oh, heavens no!" the older brunette cried, completely forgetting about the previous conversation. "Absolutely not. You serve us every time we come into the diner, Ruby. You don't need to do kitchen work when you're off the clock. I'd be more than happy to have you over again, and I'd love to do the cooking. You deserve a rest."

"Thank you, Regina… That's very sweet."

"Tomorrow night?"

"Really?"

"Well, yes. Of course. Why not?"

"Well, I just… I thought maybe you might be… I dunno… bored of me? Need me in small doses?"

"Oh, please. I can hardly get enough of your sass, and you know it."

This caught them both off guard as they sat in silence for a few moments, neither daring to address the confession Regina had just made.

"I'd love to see you again," Ruby finally answered. "I'd be happy to come over. But you really don't have to cook. I—"

"Nonsense. Just tell me what you'd like to eat, and it's yours."

"I really could eat anything."

Regina laughed at this and countered, "You're a meat and potatoes kind of girl, aren't you?"

Ruby laughed too and admitted, "Yeah, true. But honestly, I'll eat anything you make."

"Filet mignon and mashed potatoes it is. Do you like garlic?"

"Of course I like garlic! I'm not a vampire, am I?"

"Garlic mashed potatoes it is," Regina concluded with a smile. "See you tomorrow at 6?"

"You're not coming in for coffee at lunch?"

"Of course I am, dear. How else would like I keep myself from killing my assistant?"

Laughing, Ruby answered, "Well, you said tomorrow at—"

"In addition to lunch. Don't worry; I'll be there."

Regina could hear the smile in Ruby's voice when the woman replied, "Good."

"Anyway, you should get to bed. You've gotta be up early."

"Since when do you care that I—"

"Of course I care, Ruby. Why are you up this late anyway?"

"Insomnia?" Ruby laughed. When she heard Regina sigh, Ruby added, "It's alright, hun. I'm used to it."

"Maybe you just need someone to tire you out," Regina commented passively as she stared up at the ceiling.

"Sorry… What?"

"Fuck. I didn't mean… I just meant—"

"No, you're probably right. I need to get laid."

"Rubes…"

Raising an eyebrow as she gripped the phone a little tighter, Ruby felt startled by the pet name. Since when did the mayor call her 'Rubes?'

"Sorry. Pathetic, I know," Ruby said suddenly, tearing herself from her thoughts and apprehensions. "I'll admit that I'm lonely, I guess. Ugh. That really is pathetic. Sorry."

"Stop apologizing," Regina said firmly, her tone changing. "I hear you, Ruby. You don't have to be sorry. And… I feel that, too. I mean, let's think about it. I haven't actually had sexual relations with anyone in _years. _After Henry was born, I… Well… Priorities changed, I guess."

Ruby was silent for a moment – just long enough for Regina to wonder if she'd said too much – before she replied, "You're good company, Regina. And to be honest… I wish I'd known it sooner. I think… I think we could have been really good friends if we'd let each other in a little."

Sighing, Regina asked, "Could have?"

The implication in Ruby's words – at least the implication that Regina heard – was that they couldn't be close now.

"No, I just meant… We could've been… sooner."

Ruby couldn't bring herself to say 'friends.' What if Regina didn't see it that way? What if she was just being nice? What if—

"Say friends," Regina ordered, tearing Ruby from her thoughts once again.

"What?"

"Are we not?"

"Well… I don't know… I mean… I didn't want to assume that this was…"

"Ruby," Regina laughed. "Stop it. Yes, we're friends, if you want to be."

"I want to be," Ruby said quickly. "I really want to be. You're the only sane person in this entire town." When Ruby realized that she might have been implying that their friendship was one of convenience, she rushed to add, "And more than that… I think despite our glaring differences, you and I hit it off pretty well together."

"Indeed. And if it wasn't for your pompous attitude, we might—"

Bursting out laughing, Ruby nearly dropped the phone, saying, "Just couldn't help but slip that in, huh?"

"Of course not."

Ruby could hear the smile in Regina's voice, and something about it was so sweet, so playful, that she couldn't help but feel the unfamiliar tingle of butterflies in her stomach.

"Ruby?" Regina asked softly, after a pause. "You fall asleep?"

"Nuh-uh," Ruby answered, suddenly realizing just how tired she really was. "Just thinking."

"What about?"

"You, mostly. And how I hate that there was so much contention before now."

"All we have is now, Ruby. We can't change what happened. And I'm sorry that I didn't allow myself to get to know you before passing judgment. All we can do is go forward."

"Knowing me as much as you do now, what's your judgment?"

Hearing the unintentional trap in Ruby's words, Regina hesitated. What to say?

"I think you're… I don't know how to say it. I don't really have a judgment about you anymore, really. I just… appreciate you."

"You appreciate me? For what?"

"For your intelligence. Your wit. Your playfulness. Your personality. And, of course, your beauty."

Stunned into silence, Ruby found herself going quiet as she tried to process what the mayor had just told her.

"Regina?" she asked, after a long bout of silence that Regina didn't break.

"Yes, dear?"

"I… I don't see any of that in me."

"Oh, Ruby…"

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I sound pathetic."

"It's okay, dear. You can talk to me. You can tell me anything."

"Okay… Well… I guess… I… Um… " Ruby started, sucking in a steadying breath. "I just wonder why I'm alone sometimes. Like, what's so wrong with me that no one even wants to fuck me anymore? I mean, I know I used to be the town ride, but—"

"Hey. You're not the town ride, Ruby."

"No. Not anymore, anyway. But I was."

"Ruby."

"I'm sorry, Regina. God. I guess I'm just tired. I'm gonna hang up and try to sleep now before I say anything stupider."

"Ruby Lucas!"

"What?"

"Enough. What is with you tonight? You tell me all this personal stuff and then bail, like you think you can't trust me?"

"Wait… That's not—"

"No, I get it."

"No, you really don't, Regina. You really, really don't."

"Ruby, come on. If you trusted me, you wouldn't pull away like this."

"I just need to sleep, okay? I don't want to say anything else and make a fool of myself."

"Ruby," Regina sighed heavily, rubbing her face in frustration. "You're not going to sleep when you hang up, are you?"

Sighing herself, Ruby replied, "No, I'm not. Goodnight, Regina."

"Ruby, wa—" Regina tried to protest, but the call was ended before she could finish.

~!~!~

Regina wasn't sure if she should go to the diner the next day, as Ruby hadn't returned any text messaged attempting to confirm their planned meal that night. Not wanting to upset Ruby further, she skipped her afternoon coffee and apple. Alone in her office, she let her head fall to the desk as she tried to take slow, deep breaths and return her focus to her work. This, of course, didn't work, as she was immensely worried about Ruby's sudden lack of contact. _What the fuck did I do?_ Regina was thinking, wracking her brain to figure out how their conversation the night before had taken such an abrupt downward spiral.

~!~!~

The next time Regina entered the diner, unable to resist the urge to check on Ruby any longer, despite the lack of returned calls and messages, she immediately noticed a change in the woman's demeanor. When Ruby saw her, she looked away, and Regina couldn't help but see the downtrodden look on her face and the dark circles under her eyes. Regina found herself feeling surprisingly concerned for the woman who, quite frankly, looked like shit.

Regina sat down and waited an unusual amount of time before Ruby made her way to the table.

"Apple and a coffee?" Ruby asked flatly, not making eye contact.

"Um… Yes, please," Regina answered, her face expressing a look of concern that the other woman didn't notice. "Ruby?"

"Hmm?" Ruby replied, finally lifting her gaze.

"Are you alright?"

"Sure I am," the younger brunette lied, rubbing her eye with one hand.

"Alright… Well… Um… I really am sorry, for what happened on the phone, and if you… if you need anything, I'm—"

Ruby interjected, announcing, "I'll be right back with that apple and your coffee."

Before Regina could speak, protest, or try to explain herself, Ruby was gone.

When she came back to the table, Regina's discomfort with Ruby's sudden change in demeanor had reached an all-time high.

"Ruby," she said, more firmly than the first time, as she put her hand on top of Ruby's.

Ruby pulled away almost instantly, her eyes widening at the touch.

"Ruby," Regina repeated. "Can you sit down a moment?"

Quickly, Ruby shook her head and countered, "I have to help customers."

When Regina looked around the diner, there was no one else inside. They were alone.

"Ruby. Please, just sit down."

"I can't."

"Ruby… What's wrong? You look—"

"Like shit?"

Regina bit her lip, eyes locking with Ruby's as her look of concern grew more intense.

"Can I at least meet you after work? Just to chat for a bit?"

"I don't think it's a good idea."

"What happened to 'friends?' Did I fuck up so badly that that's over?"

Ruby blinked a few times before replying, "I don't know."

"Ruby, I know something's wrong, and I'm concerned. Even if you don't want to be friends, I—"

"Why the fuck do you care?"

Regina's eyes widened at the question, and her lips parted in shock as she found herself unable to speak.

"Enjoy your coffee," Ruby said, abruptly turning and walking away from the table.

~!~!~

Regina left the diner feeling the heavy, painful weight of guilt on her chest. She couldn't leave Ruby like this. Ruby's melancholy appearance and obvious distress made Regina intensely uncomfortable. For this reason, as soon as her shift at the office was over, she made her way back to the diner.

"Good evening, Granny," Regina greeted the owner of the establishment. "Is Ruby around?"

"What would you want to do with my—" Granny started to say, but Regina didn't allow her to finish.

"Please, Granny."

"I don't think—"

"I just want to make sure she's okay."

"What's behind your—"

Regina sighed and held out a single red rose and pleaded, "Please, tell her I'm here."

"We're closing up shop, Madam Mayor. I don't think it's a good time."

"Granny, what in the world is going on?"

"I don't think that's any of your business, Madam Mayor."

With another heavy sigh, Regina countered, "I know you don't trust me. And rightfully so. But I swear to you, my intentions are good."

"The road to Hell is paved with good intentions, I'm afraid."

"Good grief," Regina groaned. "Please, don't preach to me. Just tell her I'm here, alright? Don't make this ugly."

"You'll not tell me what to do with my own granddaughter! You might be the mayor of this town, but—"

"Alright. If you want to play it that way…" Regina started. "I'll tell the entire town I found a piece of bone in my cheeseburger. How's that?"

"You don't even eat cheeseburgers!" Granny cried, exasperated.

"They don't know that," Regina taunted with a smirk.

"For goodness sakes. What do you want with her anyway?"

"I know something's wrong, and I want to help her feel better and find out what's going on."

Raising an eyebrow, Granny asked, "Are you sure?"

"I'm _very _sure."

"If you so much as say _one _word out of line to my little girl—"

"Granny, dammit! GET RUBY, NOW."

Grumbling, Granny turned and disappeared into the kitchen.

Regina waited several minutes before Granny came back out and announced, "She doesn't want to talk."

"Did you tell her it was me?"

"Well, no, but—"

"Don't test me, Granny. I'm trying to be civil to you. I don't want conflict. I just want to see Ruby. Please, just tell her it's me, okay? And… And that I have something for her."

Several most minutes later, Ruby appeared from the kitchen and looked at Regina tiredly, mumbling, "Did you want something? You know we're closing, right? I'm not really in the mood to make you an evening coffee."

Brow furrowing with concern and unease, Regina sighed and held out her hand, displaying the single red rose to Ruby.

Ruby's eyes went wide as she stared, dumbfounded, at the fresh, beautiful flower.

"I… I can't," Ruby protested, shaking her head as she turned and rushed back into the kitchen, leaving Regina stunned.

Unable to do anything else, Regina bit her lip and set the rose down on the counter and left the diner.

~!~!~

_I got no excuses  
For all of these goodbyes  
Call me when it's over  
'Cause I'm dying inside  
Wake me when the shakes are gone  
And the cold sweats disappear  
Call me when it's over  
And myself has reappeared_

~!~!~_  
_

Regina tried again the next day but was told that Ruby had called out sick. Concern intensifying, Regina felt a small swell of panic beginning to swirl within her.

_Now what? _she wondered, wracking her brain for ideas. _There's no way she's just got a cold. No. Freaking. Way._

Regina didn't bother to sit down at a booth. Instead, she left the diner, determined to do something – _anything_ – for Ruby.

She found herself at Ruby's apartment, terrified to knock on the door but unable to stop herself. For whatever reason, her desperate need to check on Ruby was overwhelming. She couldn't place why she cared so very much, other than to reason that the connection between them had increased significantly. There was something in Ruby's smile that made it intense.

Taking in a deep breath, Regina knocked. No answer. She knocked again, louder this time, and waited. It was several minutes before the door was answered.

Ruby appeared in the doorway, looking disoriented and confused as she mumbled, "R'gina?"

Regina stared_. Is this really Ruby? _she wondered.

"Ruby—"

"You s-shouldn't b-be here," Ruby slurred.

"Are you _drunk?_" Regina asked.

It was twelve-thirty in the afternoon. Surely, she wasn't—

But what Regina noticed next, to her shock and horror, were Ruby's constricted pupils. _There's no way…_

"Ruby, let me in."

"Get out," Ruby growled suddenly.

"Ruby, please—"

"OUT."

When Regina took as step forward and reached for Ruby's hand, the woman shoved her backwards into the hallway outside and slammed the door shut.

Gaping, Regina stared at the door for a long time before knocking again and calling out, "Ruby. Come on. I just want to talk. I just want to know what the heck is going on. Please, let me in."

Regina prayed the door would open, but after long moments of radio silence and no action, Regina rubbed the tears from her eyes and turned to leave the apartment complex.

~!~!~

_I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know why  
I do it every, every, every time  
It's only when I'm lonely  
Sometimes I just wanna cave and I don't wanna fight  
I try and I try and I try and I try and I try  
Just hold me, I'm lonely  
_

~!~!~

Over the next couple of days, Regina found herself unable to eat, unable to sleep, and even struggling to take breaths normally. Her work suffered for it, as every time she thought of Ruby, she had to get up, shut her office door, and attempt to manage her panic attack. With each one that arose, she had to convince herself that she wasn't having a heart attack. _I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine, _she coached herself, gripping the edge of her desk until her knuckles turned white. _But what the fuck do I do?_

The next time Regina went to the diner, it was three days later. Regina wasn't religious, but she found herself praying to whatever gods existed that Ruby was be there, and that she would be okay. She could handle Ruby hating her, but what she couldn't stand was thinking of Ruby hurt.

"Get out," Granny growled, as soon as she saw Regina walk in.

"Where's Ruby?" Regina asked, ignoring Granny's demand.

"I said get out."

"Granny. I'm not here to hurt her. I'm here to help her."

"And what the fuck are you going to do for her, hmm? You think you can just waltz into her life and make everything better?"

"No, Granny, but I can be there for her if she needs me."

"She doesn't need you."

"Alright. That's fine," Regina ground her, Granny's words stinging her deeply. "But we both know she needs support from _someone_. Now, tell me what's going on."

Granny paused, and Regina was shocked to see tears filling the woman's eyes.

"Granny?" she asked. "Please, just tell me. I'm here to help."

"This is your fault."

"What is?"

"Ruby's using again," Granny said, her voice a pained whisper.

Regina's lips parted as she stared at the woman with a look of shock.

"When I saw her, I—"

"You saw her?!" Granny snapped, wiping her own tears.

Regina nodded and confessed, "I went to her apartment, just to check on her. She wasn't at the diner and she wasn't responding to text messages. I was worried." When Granny looked skeptical, Regina added, "I care about her."

"Then fucking do something," Granny whimpered, starting to cry.

"What is she using?" Regina asked gently, placing her hand on Granny's forearm.

To her surprise, Granny wrapped her arms around Regina and let her head fall to the woman's chest as she sobbed.

"Granny," the mayor pressed. "What is she using?"

"H-Heroin," Granny sniffled. "She's back on heroin."

"Oh, God," Regina breathed. "Is she at the apartment?"

"No. She wasn't there when I went to check on her yesterday morning, and I haven't seen her since."

"Fuck. Alright. I'll—"

"Find her, Regina."

The mayor nodded firmly, making a silent, unspoken promise.

~!~!~

_Momma, I'm so sorry I'm not sober anymore  
And daddy, please forgive me for the drinks spilled on the floor  
To the ones who never left me, we've been down this road before  
I'm so sorry, I'm not sober anymore_

Regina drove around Storybrooke for what felt like – and probably was – hours, visually scanning the streets for Ruby. Eventually, she had to park the car and continue the search on foot. Regina even checked the edge of the forest but found nothing. It wasn't until she began walking back towards her car downtown that a shimmer of light caught her eye. When she looked down the dark alleyway, her stomach dropped.

Unmistakably, Ruby was being held up against the brick wall of the nearby building, and the man holding there was very obviously fucking her.

Regina stepped closer just in time to hear him say, "Hold still, slut!"

She opened her mouth to speak as she advanced, but no sound came out, at least until she heard the loud crack of the man's hand across Ruby's face and the instant sound of Ruby crying.

"You want the goods? Then shut up and—"

"HEY," Regina shouted, running towards them. "Get the fuck away from her."

"What's it to you, princess?" the man scoffed, dropping Ruby back onto her feet and zipping up his fly.

"I'm a queen, thank you," Regina said smoothly. "And a bit more refined." Then, she turned to Ruby, who was very clearly dazed and confused, and ordered, "Stand back, Ruby."

"What are you gonna do, huh?" the man taunted the mayor. "Pretty girl like you probably just needs a good fuck."

Regina had long since given up on using magic, but this occasion called for something special. The fire ball that formed in her hands made the man's eyes go wide with horror, and as she shot it at him, Ruby screamed. The man's clothes were on fire, and Ruby was close enough to feel the heat.

When Ruby stood frozen in horror, Regina advanced towards her, grabbed her arm, and jerked her away from the man, who was engulfed in flames.

Ruby stumbled her way to the mayor's car as she slurred, "'M fine. D-Don't. I'm f-fine."

But she was too weak to pull away from Regina's protective grip as the mayor told her, "I'm taking you somewhere safe."

"No!" Ruby screamed, attempting to jerk her arm away, but too weakened in her intoxicated state to fight through Regina's grasp.

"Get in the car," Regina ordered, holding the passenger's side door of the Mercedes open for her.

Ruby protested but nearly fell into the car, slamming her head on the frame as she collapsed into the seat.

"Dear God, you're a mess," Regina sighed, shutting the door and entering the other side of the car.

Before taking the car out of park, Regina looked over at Ruby with sadness in her eyes. The woman's head was hanging down, and her eyes were drooping. It was more than obvious to the mayor that she was incredibly high, and probably drunk. As if this wasn't hard enough, Regina quickly realized that Ruby had several dark track marks on her arms.

"Oh, Ruby," Regina breathed, tears welling in her eyes.

But the younger woman did not reply. She was passed out from the haze of the drugs. This was probably better, because it meant that she was no longer protesting the mayor's rescue mission. Instead of bringing Ruby back to her apartment, Regina brought her back to 108 Mifflin Street.

When she finally managed to get Ruby inside, into the spare bedroom, and under the covers, she was fully crying. Thankfully, Ruby was so incredibly out of it that she would never remember the mayor's intense display of emotion. Words could not describe how grateful Regina was for this fact.

Regina stayed with Ruby the whole night, never leaving her side, until the woman woke crying out in agony around 4:30 AM.

"Oh, _God,_" Ruby groaned, holding her head in her hands. "Need… Need to—"

"What you need is to stay right where you are while I go get you some breakfast."

"Fuck. Fuck, fuck, _fuck. _What are you doing here?"

"You're in _my _house, dear. Not your apartment. And you're not going anywhere. You're welcome to hate me. I'm fine with that, as long as you're safe. And you're not leaving until I'm _sure_ you can be safe."

"This is bullshit!" Ruby screamed. "I need another fix. Regina, please. Please. Please. You have to let me go. I'm—"

Ruby reached up to touch her forehead and felt the cold sweat that had formed on her brow. She was shaking.

"You're going to be fine, Ruby," Regina whispered, placing a hand on Ruby's shoulder to gently push her back down onto the bed. "I'm right here."

"I don't _want _you here!" Ruby screamed. "I just want to go home! I'm _fine!_"

"Yeah… Well… You sure don't look it."

"Fuck you," Ruby spat, feeling her head pounding with a merciless headache.

"Oh, Ruby…" Regina sighed, her hand remaining on Ruby's shoulder. "My sweet Ruby… What happened to you?"

"Don't touch me!"

"Why are you doing this, Rubes?" Regina asked sadly, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

Ruby shook her head and started to cry.

"Please, Regina. Just get me a fix. Just one more. I promise I'll—"

"No, Ruby," Regina said, wiping her own eyes and making her voice stern. "You're done."

"NO!"

"Yes, you really are."

"You don't know what this feels like!"

"Maybe not. But I know it's torture. And I also know that you have to go through Hell to get to the other side."

"Save your philosophical bullshit for someone who cares."

Regina bit her lip for a moment, then told her, "Granny isn't going to save you this time. I am."

~!~!~

_I'm sorry to my future love  
For the man that left my bed  
For making love the way I saved for you inside my head  
And I'm sorry for the fans I lost  
Who watched me fall again  
I wanna be a role model, but I'm only human  
_

~!~!~

Regina spent the next few days guarding Ruby like a merciless grizzly bear protecting her cubs, except that for her, this was life and death. She knew how easily Ruby could have gotten into more trouble or overdosed and ended her life unintentionally.

After two days of intense suffering, Ruby still hadn't given up on leaving.

"You're not going anywhere," Regina asserted.

"You can't fucking keep me here forever," Ruby growled, holding her stomach as her body shook beneath the covers.

"Eat something," Regina sighed, handing her a plate of toast.

"No."

"Ruby."

"NO."

"Gods, Ruby…" Regina whispered, approaching the bed and gently stroking the agitated woman's sweat-soaked hair back. "What happened to you?"

"Don't fucking touch me!" Ruby screamed, slapping Regina's hand away. "I don't need your help! All I need is—"

"You're not leaving," Regina repeated, holding Ruby down on the bed. "So, relax. I know it hurts. I know you're freaking out right now. I get it. But I can't let you go. You have to get clean or you're going to end up killing yourself."

"The fuck do you care? We're not even friends."

"Oh, Ruby… Please, don't say that. Surely, you must know by now that I—"

"That you _what, _Regina? That you want me to suffer? That you want me to lie here feeling like I'm dying?"

"You're not dying, Ruby. That's the whole point. I'm not going to let you get hurt."

"Yeah, well. You can stop being the hero any time now. It doesn't suit you."

Regina's jaw dropped at this comment as she stared at Ruby, who was giving her an intense scowl.

"I didn't realize the shoe didn't fit. Guess I was just trying it on because I fucking _care about you_," Regina snapped, after a long pause.

"No, you don't, or you'd let me go get a fix."

"You're staying right here where I can protect you."

"I don't need your help!"

"I think you do, Ruby. I really think you do," Regina sighed, feeling frustrated and pushing a hand through her hair. "How did this happen? Why did you choose drugs?"

"It was a familiar habit and I knew it would make the pain stop," Ruby answered simply.

"Ruby, I—"

"No. Stop. Just get out."

"I'm not leaving you. And besides… I think this is pretty much all my fault."

Ruby's face when stony and serious as she started to calm and looked up into the mayor's dark eyes.

"How?" she finally asked.

Regina wasn't sure if Ruby was testing her or what, but it didn't feel good. Either way, she knew she had to answer.

"I made you feel bad, on the phone that night. It seems like everything went downhill from there."

"Yeah, well… I…"

"It's okay. You can say you hate me."

"I don't… I don't _hate _you," Ruby huffed, crossing her arms over her chest as she continued to sweat and shake. "I just want this to stop. I know you couldn't possibly understand, but—"

"All I know is that I want you safe. That I… um… That I care very deeply for you, and I—"

Regina had to stop speaking, as her voice cracked at the end of the sentence. It had been excruciatingly difficult to say. It wasn't Regina's style to get attached. In fact, it was quite the opposite. No trust, no disappointment. But here she was, more protective over Ruby than she'd ever been over anyone except her son. She hated the feeling, since it didn't seem to be returned, but she knew she felt a deep-rooted affection for and connection with Ruby.

"Don't," Ruby protested, looking away. "I don't want to hear it. You're torturing me."

"Ruby, you're not in your right mind right now. You're going through severe withdrawals, and I'm just trying to help. Please, let me—" Regina tried, passing Ruby a wash cloth to wipe the perspiration from her forehead.

"Fuck off," Ruby snapped, throwing the towel at Regina without using it. "You're not helping me."

"It's okay for you to hate me," Regina told her. "But I'm not leaving your side until you're clean and sober. I promise the pain will stop… Just stick with it for a few more days, and you'll be okay. I promise, Ruby. _Please._"

"I don't hate you! I just want you to fuck off!"

Regina sighed and looked down at her feet, saying, "I had really hoped you and I wouldn't end up this way. I do get it, though. I wouldn't want to be friends with me either."

"Well, you are a pushy, know-it-all bitch, so…"

Feeling her heart sink, Regina nodded her head, replying, "I know. Anyway, I'll be right outside the door if you need anything. Just yell for me."

With that, Regina turned away and left the room.

~!~!~

_I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know why  
I do it every, every, every time  
It's only when I'm lonely  
Sometimes I just wanna cave and I don't wanna fight  
I try and I try and I try and I try and I try  
Just hold me, I'm lonely  
_

~!~!~

The days ticked by, and after about a week, Ruby finally calmed down.

"Why are you doing this?" Ruby sighed, rubbing her temples as Regina entered the room with a plate of food.

"Because I… I care about you. I thought that was obvious."

"But I just put you through Hell."

Slowly, Regina approached, willing to take the risk, and pressed the back of her hand against Ruby's forehead.

"Your fever broke," she noted, unable to hide the small smile that curled her lips. "Finally."

"Regina?"

"Yes, Ruby?"

"Why me?"

"I don't know, honestly," Regina answered, shrugging her shoulders. "I guess it's because you and I just click. And now that we have, I can't imagine life without you. I know I have to now, but the least I can do is making sure you're still alive. All I care about is your happiness, and if that means never speaking to me again when this is all over… I'll have to be okay with that."

Ruby bit her lip, feeling tears well in her eyes as she mumbled, "You must really hate me. I've been a real cunt to you."

Regina shrugged, looking away as she sat down in the chair beside the bed.

"You feeling any better?" the mayor asked, after some silence.

Ruby nodded reluctantly, not wanting to lie anymore.

"I'm alright."

"I told you the withdrawals would stop."

Again, Ruby nodded, saying, "I know."

"Granny wants to see you," Regina told her, lifting her gaze to check Ruby's face for a reaction.

Of course, Ruby's reaction was a strong one as she immediately cried, "No!"

"I know you feel like shit right now, but she really needs to see that you're okay."

"I'm not okay, Regina. I want to use. I might not be throwing up, shaking, and sweating, but I still want it. It's the only thingI want."

"The _only _thing?" Regina asked apprehensively, locking eyes with Ruby. "Are you sure?"

"Anyway. I'm fine. So, you can back off now and let me go live my life the way _I _want to. I'm a grown-ass adult and I can do what I want."

"What triggered this, Ruby? Honestly. Just tell me. Was it me? Was it our phone conversation?"

"No… Well, sort of…"

Heart sinking, Regina hung her head in her hands, muttering, "I'm so sorry, Ruby."

"To be honest…" Ruby started, swallowing her pride enough to speak. "I was… lonely. And frustrated. And feeling ashamed. It wasn't you. It was my own shit. The phone call just… solidified what a piece of shit I am."

"You are _not _a piece of shit!" the mayor cried, rising from her chair. "Don't you _ever _say that!"

"I'll say what I want," Ruby growled defiantly. "You're not my mother, Regina."

"I'm not trying to be your mother, Ruby. I'm trying to be your friend."

"Yeah, well… Stop."

"Why were you lonely?" Regina asked suddenly. "What about our friendship? I thought we… I thought we really had a bond…"

"We're not friends. We were acquaintances. And now, we're not even that. I hate to break it to you, Regina, but you're dead to me now. You _trapping _me here like a caged animal is bullshit."

"I guess I had a very different understanding of what we had, then," Regina confessed.

Ruby bit her lip, feeling a sudden wave of guilt wash over her.

"Regina… I…" Ruby tried, but found the words getting stuck in her throat. "I think maybe I did too."

"What do you mean?"

"I just… I thought maybe… Maybe you wanted… _Ugh_. Nevermind. Listen, Regina. I _really _need this. _Please, _let me leave."

"No," the older brunette said firmly. "Tell me what you were going to say."

"I can't."

"Why?"

"I'll tell you if you promise to let me leave."

Regina laughed at this, shaking her head and saying, "Fat chance in Hell that's happening. You think I'd risk your life just for a little information?"

"Well… No, but—"

"Exactly. I wouldn't. I wouldn't risk your life for _anything. _I will always, always, _always _be here to protect you when you need it. Even if you don't want it."

After a long, pensive pause, Ruby said, "Regina… What happened that night you found me?"

"What do you mean?" Regina asked. "You don't remember?"

"Not really."

"You were… I found you in an alley," Regina sighed, rubbing her temples again as she sat back down in her chair. "Some guy was… You were… Anyway, it involved a fireball and dragging your ass to my car and essentially kidnapping you. I guess that's all you need to know."

"What guy?"

"I don't know, Ruby. I didn't know him."

Biting her lip as her eyes filled with tears, Ruby whimpered, "I was fucking him for drugs."

Sighing once more, Regina stood back up, approached the bed again, and put her hand on Ruby's shoulder, saying, "I know, Rubes. But it's alright. It's over now. You're done with that, and you don't have to—"

"Yes, I do. I had no money and no other way to get the fix. I had to."

"He was hurting you."

"That was irrelevant at the time. And if he's still got drugs, it's irrelevant now too. I'll take a few punches for another shot."

"Um… Ruby…"

"Yes, Regina?"

"That fireball kinda engulfed him and…"

"You _killed _him?" Ruby gaped, staring dumbly at Regina.

"I would do anything to protect you, Ruby," Regina confessed. "And if that means taking out a rapey asshole who was beating you, I'll do it. I don't care if he's dead, Ruby. You are my number one priority."

"Regina… I can't believe you… you…" Ruby whispered, continuing to stare. "You did that for _me?_"

"Yes. I'll have to live with it every day, for the rest of my life, but I'm good with that, because here you are, past the withdrawals. You've been clean for a week today."

"Ugh. I wish it would just _stop_," Ruby whined, rolling onto her side, away from Regina.

"I know, babe," Regina said softly, placing her hand on Ruby's back. "I know."

"Babe?" Ruby asked, rolling onto her back again and looking up at Regina.

Blushing, the mayor replied, "Sorry. It just came out."

Letting out a bitter laugh, Ruby noted, "Yeah, it's okay. It doesn't have to be weird. I know you didn't mean it like that. You could never see me that way."

Taken aback by this comment, Regina took a step back and looked at Ruby as her hand fell to her side.

"Ruby… That's…"

"That's what?" Ruby asked sharply, roughly rubbing a few tears from her eyes.

"That's not exactly… true…"

Suddenly in shock, Ruby's eyes went wide as she asked, "Sorry… What?"

Regina shook her head, mumbling, "Nevermind," as she moved to walk away.

Ruby caught her wrist though and jerked her back, closer to the bed.

"When I said I was lonely…" Ruby started, taking in a deep, slow breath. "What I really meant was, 'I wanted you and couldn't have you.'"

Regina's lips parted as she looked at Ruby in shock. _Is this real?_

"Ruby, are you… Are you saying that you…"

"Not anymore," Ruby asserted, quickly switching back to a dark, stern tone.

Swallowing her tears and the knot in her throat, Regina nodded her head and said, "I get it. I'm sorry I let you down."

"It's… It's whatever."

"I'll let you rest. I'll be back with your dinner in a few hours. Your lunch is on the nightstand."

"Regina, wait," Ruby called out, when the woman turned to leave. Regina turned back to face her with tears in her eyes, so Ruby added, "I… I don't want you to go. I don't… I don't want to be alone right now."

"But I thought you hated me?"

"For the last fucking time, I _don't_ hateyou."

"Yeah, well, you're certainly not happy with me right now."

"That might be true, but…"

"But?"

"But I need you, Gina."

Regina's breath caught in her chest at these words, but she forced herself to snap out of her trance and move closer to the bed. Carefully, she placed a tender hand on Ruby's forehead.

Then, she whispered, "I'm here, Rubes. It's alright. I won't leave you. I promise."

~!~!~

_Momma, I'm so sorry I'm not sober anymore  
And daddy, please forgive me for the drinks spilled on the floor  
To the ones who never left me, we've been down this road before  
I'm so sorry, I'm not sober anymore  
I'm not sober anymore  
_

~!~!~

Regina stayed by Ruby's side over the next few days, allowing Henry to spend time with his biological mother to give herself more of an opportunity to keep a closer eye on Ruby.

The woman grew more and more calm and less irritable as the days passed, until finally, Regina asked, "Do you want to go for a walk?"

"Really?" Ruby gaped. "You're gonna let me out to do more than just pee?"

"Yes. If you promise to be good."

Ruby smirked at this and retorted, "I'm never good."

"Oh, Miss Lucas. Forever the flirt."

"You love it, Miss Mills."

Regina forced an insincere scowl and shot back, "That's Madam Mayor to you, dear."

This was the first time Regina had called her 'dear' in a long time, so it caught Ruby off guard to hear the word. Despite Regina's efforts to feign annoyance, there was something sweet about her voice, and it made Ruby's stomach flip.

"Alright… _Mistress._"

Regina's job dropped as she stared at Ruby. "What… I said… Not… What?"

"Oh. Oops. Madam. I meant madam."

The wicked smirk that returned to Ruby's face for the first time in weeks made Regina's heart flutter. Not to mention, she'd just been called 'mistress.' Licking her lips, Regina continued to stare into Ruby's eyes, her own surprise apparent in her expression.

"Something the matter, mistress?" Ruby teased. "I mean, 'Madam Mayor.'"

Once again, Regina opened her mouth to speak but found that the words were entirely stuck.

"Cat got your tongue?" Ruby taunted, still grinning wickedly.

Regina wanted to protest. To offer a bold quip. To be witty. But for some reason, she gave an involuntary nod.

"I think I changed my mind," Ruby mused, sitting up fully in the bed.

"Pardon?"

"I changed my mind."

"About what?"

"About us."

"How so?"

"I'm not mad at you anymore. I know why you're doing this."

"Do you?"

"Well, yeah. You don't want my blood on your hands," Ruby cackled, rubbing her hands together at her own distasteful joke.

"Pleasant," Regina grumbled. "Really pleasant. And very untrue."

"Oh, yeah? What's the reason then?"

"Because I care about you, obviously."

"Yeah?"

"Don't be daft. Of course I do."

"Tell me what you're thinking. Right now. Don't filter it."

"I can't," Regina protested, looking away.

But Ruby grabbed her hand and pulled her in until their faces were close together.

"Tell me," she ordered.

Caught off guard by Ruby's sudden change in demeanor, and the proximity of their lips, Regina simply whispered, "No."

"Fine. Then shut up and _show me_."

When Regina's lips parted again, Ruby shook her head with a chuckle and gripped the back of the mayor's neck, pulling her in and catching her lips.

When Ruby finally pulled away from the kiss, Regina was breathless.

"What… What was that?"

Shrugging, Ruby replied, "That was me being honest."

~!~!~

_I'm sorry that I'm here again  
I promise I'll get help  
It wasn't my intention  
I'm sorry to myself_

* * *

**Author's note: The song used to inspire the fic is Demi Lovato's "Sober."**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: Buckle up, guys. It's gonna get heavy. Please, feel free to let me know what you think. I'm always open to a chat. Thank you for reading!**

* * *

"Let's take a walk, yeah?" Regina asked gently, wrapping her arm around Ruby's shoulders to steady her as she rose from the bed.

"You sure you wanna let me leave the house?" Ruby said, her tone becoming serious again.

"Ruby," Regina sighed, her hand slipping into Ruby's. "I'm not trying to punish you. I'm trying to protect you."

"Yeah, well… I'm a grown-ass woman, and I didn't need you to save me."

"Yes, you really did."

Regina looked pained when Ruby pulled her hand away.

"You should've just let me die," Ruby blurted suddenly, turning completely to look out the window.

"_What?!_" Regina gaped, grabbing Ruby's arm and jerking her back until their eyes met. "Ruby! Why would you say that?!"

"Because I… I'm not… I can't do this."

"But you literally just—"

"I'm sorry, Regina. I just can't do this."

"Can't do what?"

"Life, Gina," Ruby sighed. "Look… You… You're the only thing worth living for."

"Oh, _Ruby,_" the mayor breathed, taking Ruby's hand again. "That's not true."

Shrugging, Ruby turned away again, refusing to look her protector in the eyes.

"Ruby, look at me," Regina ordered sternly, squeezing her hand.

"I can't," the younger woman choked out.

Refusing to accept this answer, Regina turned Ruby's face and stared into her eyes as she started to cry.

"I need you here," Regina confessed, her voice cracking. "Don't leave me."

Sucking in a sharp breath, Ruby gathered the courage to look up at the woman who had done so much to protect her.

"Don't you want to see where this goes?" Regina asked. "What we could have? What we could be?"

Mouth hanging open, Ruby stared at the mayor.

"Well?" Regina pressed. "Don't you?"

"I…"

"Ruby?"

"Yes… Yes, I want to see where this goes."

"Stay with me, Ruby." When Ruby nodded, Regina added, "Please, promise me. Promise me you're done with drugs."

With a heavy sigh, Ruby mumbled, "I promise."

Finally smiling, warm and bright, Regina embraced Ruby and held her close.

"I'll help you through this, Ruby. You can beat this."

With a weak nod, Ruby rested her head on Regina's shoulder.

~!~!~

On their walk, Regina held Ruby's hand protectively, standing closer to the street as they made their way along the sidewalk. They walked closely, and their shoulders brushed every few steps due to their physical proximity. It made Regina's cheeks warm to feel herself touching Ruby's skin.

"It's good to be outside," Ruby sighed, looking up at the clouds. "I missed this."

Regina nodded and smiled at her, saying, "See? Life's not all bad. Look how pretty the sky is today."

"Look how pretty _you _are today," Ruby said quickly, without missing a beat.

Regina stopped in her tracks and turned to look at Ruby, her cheeks turning slightly red.

"Come on now, love," the younger woman teased. "Gimme a smile."

Regina couldn't help but comply with the request, given Ruby's flirtatious nature.

"That's my girl," Ruby said softly, squeezing Regina's hand and leaning in to kiss the woman's cheek.

Hearing this, and feeling Ruby's soft, warm lips on her cheek, Regina blushed brighter and stared down at her stilettos.

When she realized that Regina did not know what to say, Ruby offered, "Come on. Let's go to the park."

Regina nodded and smiled at her companion as they continued down the sidewalk, still holding hands. Once they arrived at the park, Ruby dropped Regina's hand abruptly, spread her arms wide, and grinned up at the sky.

"AIR!" Ruby shouted, spinning around several times.

"I haven't seen you this happy in a long time, Ruby," Regina sighed happily, watching with interest as Ruby continued to spin. "Careful, sweetheart. You're gonna make yourself sick."

"No, I'm n—" Ruby started to protest, but immediately found herself doubled over, dry heaving. "Okay, okay. You win. I'm chill. It's fine. I'm fine."

Regina laughed at this, wrapping her arms around Ruby and holding her tightly.

"You're silly, you know that, kid?"

Ruby rolled her eyes at this and retorted, "I'm not a kid. Just because you're a little bit older than me doesn't mean you get to—"

"You're extra beautiful when you get mad," Regina whispered, cupping the back of Ruby's neck and pulling her in for a kiss.

Ruby dropped her protest and gave in to the kiss, allowing Regina to thread her fingers through her hair.

"Sit with me?" Ruby asked, her smile returning.

Regina nodded and followed Ruby as the woman sat down in the grass. Before Regina could lean in to place another chaste kiss on Ruby's cheek, the younger brunette was flat on the ground, staring up at the sky.

"Do you think there's life on other planets?" Ruby asked pensively, not tearing her gaze away from the clouds.

"Um… Maybe?" Regina asked. "I guess I just don't know."

"Hopefully, we won't find out," Ruby noted. "The last thing I want is an anal probe."

At first, Regina's mouth fell open, and she wasn't sure whether to laugh or be concerned by Ruby's level of seriousness. Surely, she was kidding…

Then, Ruby grinned, and Regina felt suddenly comfortable teasing, "You sure about that, princess?"

Immediately shocked by Regina's playfulness, Ruby's head jerked to the side as she looked up at the woman beside her.

"I, um… I mean… I'm not really…"

"Not really…?"

"Not really sure, I guess. I mean, as long as it's you, and not some creepy-ass alien, I'd probably try anything."

Again, Regina's lips parted in surprise as she watched Ruby make the statement, completely dead-pan.

They stared at each other for a long moment, each trying to decide exactly how serious the other was being.

Then, Ruby blurted, "Do you think our belly buttons get scared of the dark when we put our shirts on?"

"Uh… Seriously?" Regina asked, fighting back a laugh.

"Nah. Not serious. Obviously, they're scared of the dark. I mean, who _likes_ the dark anyway?"

"Rubes… Our belly buttons aren't… people…"

Grinning, Ruby lifted her shirt up and looked down at her belly button.

Staring at Ruby's exposed skin, Regina froze and found herself forgetting to speak.

"Yo," Ruby said, three times in a row. "Earth to Regina? Ya there?"

"Huh? Oh, yes. Sorry," Regina mumbled. "I was—"

"Yeah, you like my abs. Don't lie, Madam Mayor. You check me out all the time."

The grin that had spread over Ruby's lips showed no signs of disappearing as she looked proudly at her companion. Somewhat embarrassed at the truth of Ruby's words, Regina forced herself to shrug her shoulders.

"Maybe," she mumbled, turning away.

Ruby laughed loudly and tugged on Regina's hand until she was laying down beside her.

"You're beautiful too, you know," she commented. "And I like that you look at me that way…"

"Yeah?" Regina asked gently, turning her head to face Ruby. "Is that so?"

Nodding, Ruby replied, "Yes. It's so. But…"

"But?" Regina asked curiously, impulsively reaching out to stroke Ruby's cheek.

"But when do I get to see _your _abs?"

"I don't have 'abs,' Ruby," Regina laughed, shaking her head.

"Sure, you do," Ruby retorted with a grin, pressing her hand flat against Regina's stomach over her shirt. "See? Rock solid." Then, when Regina blushed and didn't reply, Ruby added, "Like my cock."

"_What?_" Regina gaped, staring dumbfounded at the woman she'd grown so incredibly close to.

"I dunno. Seemed like the thing to say."

Rolling her eyes, the mayor replied, "Wipe that grin off your face, you ridiculous goober."

"Nah. Not around you. I can't, Madam Mayor. You bring out the goober in me."

"Yeah, right. Like this is exclusive to _me!_" Regina laughed, playfully shoving Ruby's shoulder.

"Okay, okay. Maybe I'm a goober in general. But it gets worse around you!"

Regina rolled her eyes again and leaned in, lips hovering in front of Ruby's as she mumbled, "Goober."

"You love it."

"Maybe."

"No, you do. Otherwise, you wouldn't put up with me."

"Okay, well…" Regina tried, but found herself trailing off when she couldn't argue with Ruby's logic.

"Who decided what order the alphabet was going to go in?" Ruby asked suddenly, flopping onto her back and returning her attention to the clouds.

"Not sure, darling," Regina chuckled. "But—"

"You know, those are 'cumulus' clouds," Ruby mused. "Very pretty. Just like you."

Regina laughed and shook her head, protesting, "Yeah, right."

Suddenly serious, Ruby turned back to Regina and told her, "You're gorgeous, Regina. I don't want to hear you say anything otherwise ever again. Do you understand?"

"O-Okay…" Regina stammered, dropping her gaze.

"Good girl," Ruby said with a smile, cupping the mayor's cheek with her hand.

"I'm not a dog, Ruby," Regina laughed, playfully pushing the woman away.

Ruby shrugged with a smile and turned her attention once again back to the clouds.

After a long, quiet pause, Ruby softly said, "Don't leave me, okay?"

"What?" Regina asked, shocked by Ruby's sudden show of vulnerability as her voice cracked, giving away the heartfelt nature of the plea. "Why would I leave you, Ruby?"

"Because I'm a fucked up junkie that—"

"Ruby!" Regina shouted, sitting up abruptly and looking down at her companion. "That's enough."

"But—"

"I don't see you that way. I see you as someone intelligent, funny, charming, beautiful, and caring. And that's all that matters to me."

"Then why can't I use?"

"Because I almost lost you once. I'm not gonna let it happen again."

Feeling tears well in her eyes, Ruby sat up and wrapped her arms tightly around Regina and buried her face in the crook of the woman's neck.

"Thank you for caring about me," Ruby sighed, reaching up to thread her fingers in Regina's smooth, dark locks of hair.

"I will always care about you, Ruby. Nothing's going to change that."

"You promise?"

"I _promise _you, Ruby. And I make good on my word."

With a weak nod, Ruby continued to cling to the mayor, staying close to her as they watched the clouds fade while darkness crept in with the sunset.

~!~!~

Regina woke in the night to the sound of Ruby vomiting.

"Rubes?" Regina asked in an anxious, concerned tone, as she placed her hand on Ruby's back.

The younger woman was leaned over the side of the bed, coughing harshly in between bouts of vomiting.

"Rubes, baby, what's wrong?"

Vigorously shaking her head, Ruby could only whimper.

"Head hurts," she finally said, after a dry heaving a few times, having expelled the entire contents of her stomach, to include whatever bile was present.

"My poor, sweet girl," Regina breathed, rubbing Ruby's back gently. "I don't understand how you could possibly be sick. You haven't been anywhere with other people… and the withdrawals are over, so…"

Ruby shrugged weakly, whimpering more as she dry heaved again.

"Water?"

Regina quickly leapt out of the bed and came back shortly with a bucket and a bottle of water.

"Drink, sweetheart," Regina urged her. "I'm right here."

"Throat hurts," Ruby moaned, then took several swigs of the water. "_Everything_ hurts."

"We're taking you to see Dr. Whale in the morning," Regina asserted, stroking Ruby's hair back. "Shit, Ruby… You're freezing and…"

Regina's stomach dropped when she felt the cold sweat on Ruby's forehead, but her thoughts of fear were interrupted by Ruby's rough shout of, " NO. I am _not _going to the doctor!"

"Yeah, you really fucking are," Regina shot back. "This isn't a debate. I'm not going to watch you suffer. I'm not going to _let _you suffer. I'm going to take care of you." Then, after a short pause where Ruby scowled at her, Regina added, "Always."

"Mom?" a voice suddenly called out from the hallway, starling both the women.

"What is it, Henry?" Regina called out, gripping Ruby's hand as Ruby leaned over and threw up again.

"Is Ruby okay? I hear—"

"Back to bed, Henry. I'm gonna take care of her. She'll be fine."

"But Mom—"

"Henry Daniel Mills! Bed, please."

When she finally heard her son's reluctant footsteps fade down the hallway back towards his room, Regina turned back to Ruby and softly told her, "I'm just gonna go to the kitchen and get you a bucket, okay?"

Ruby nodded weakly and whimpered, "Sorry, Gina."

"Don't be sorry, babe. We'll see Dr. Whale in the morning and get you feeling better."

~!~!~

The following morning, despite Regina's protests, they arrived at Dr. Whale's office five minutes before 8:00 AM when the practice opened.

When Ruby's name was called, she looked at Regina frantically and pleaded with her eyes for Regina to stay with her. Regina simply nodded and followed Ruby into the exam room.

"Well," Dr. Whale said solemnly, "I don't think it's the flu."

"Why not?" Regina asked, tilting her head in confusion. "It seems pretty—"

"Ruby, could you take off your shirt, please?" Dr. Whale interrupted gently.

"Uh…" Ruby stuttered, then reluctantly began to unbutton her blouse.

"I can leave," Regina said quickly, resting her hand on Ruby's.

Ruby shook her head and shrugged the shirt off of her shoulders.

When Dr. Whale walked to the side of the table, he saw exactly what he'd been looking for.

"You have a rash," he noted, touching Ruby's back carefully with gloved hands.

"I do?"

"You do."

"Why isn't it itchy then?"

"Because it… Well…"

"Well what, doc? Just give it to me straight."

"Ruby… Are you sexually active?"

Ruby's eyes went wide, and she crossed her ankles anxiously as she rubbed her thighs with her palms.

"I, um…" she tried, but trailed off, unable to finish the sentence.

"Ruby, this is important. I need you to tell me the truth."

"I have been recently, yes."

"With Regina?"

"Doc!" Ruby squirmed uncomfortably in her seat, covering her face as she mumbled, "No."

"My apologies, Ruby. I just thought you two were…"

"We are," Regina cut in. "But we haven't been intimate. Would you get to the point? Can't you see you're stressing her out?"

"Yes, of course," Dr. Whale sighed. "Ruby, I think… I think that what is causing this is, quite unfortunately, very far from the flu."

"Doc," Ruby whined. "You're killing me. Will you just tell it to me straight?"

"I've known you a long time, Ruby," Dr. Whale noted, looking into her eyes. "I know you don't like talking about this, but I have to ask. Have you been using heroin?"

Knowing this would be triggering for Ruby, Regina put her hand on the woman's thigh protectively as she bit her own lip and stared at the rash spreading across Ruby's back.

Ruby looked away – anywhere but at Regina or Dr. Whale – and sighed, "Yes, I have."

"Clean needles?"

Ruby felt her heart stop.

"Doc…"

"Ruby. This is serious. I need you to answer me."

"Maybe."

"Maybe?"

"I don't know, okay? I got it where I could get it, when I could get it, and how I could get it. I didn't ask questions. I was pretty fucked up. So yeah, maybe they were clean. Maybe they weren't. I don't know."

"He's just trying to help, sweetheart," Regina said softly, rubbing Ruby's thigh carefully as her voice cracked. "It's okay."

"I'm sorry, Gina…" Ruby breathed, dropping her face into her hands again and starting to cry.

"Have you been tested for sexually transmitted infections since you last used and were sexually active?"

Keeping her face covered, Ruby shook her head.

"I'm going to take a blood sample, okay?" Dr. Whale asked gently, collecting the tools he needed to do so.

"It's okay, sweetheart," Regina whispered to her partner, but felt her own heart breaking at the implications of Dr. Whale's questioning.

When he heard Ruby crying louder, Dr. Whale told her, "We're going to figure this out, Ruby."

~!~!~

Two and a half weeks later, once again sitting on Dr. Whale's exam table, Ruby found herself shaking with fear.

"Ruby…" Dr. Whale started slowly, trying to look into her eyes as she avoided his gaze. "I'm… I'm very sorry, but… I'm afraid you tested positive for human immunodeficiency virus."

Feeling her own nails digging into the palms of her hands from clenching her fists so tightly, Ruby refused to look up as she felt tears dripping down onto her cheeks.

"I guess I deserve this," she finally muttered. "I—"

"Ruby Lucas," Dr. Whale said, stepping closer. "No one deserves this."

"Dr. Whale is right, Ruby," Regina told her partner, holding back her own tears. "You _don't_ deserve this."

"I thought I was ready to die," Ruby confessed, her voice cracking. "I didn't care about anything. But now…" Looking up at Regina, Ruby continued, "Now, I have you, and I… I don't want to go."

"Ruby," Dr. Whale said sternly. "You're not dying."

"Yet. I'm not dying _yet,_" Ruby corrected him.

"There are lots of medications to slow the process, Ruby, and if you take them all as prescribed, you could live a long, happy life. Antiretrovirals are effective in slowing the course of the illness and helping to reduce the likelihood of the transmission of HIV to others."

"Yeah, but… in the end… I die messy, don't I?"

"Ruby," Dr. Whale said gently. "You're not going to die 'messy.' Treatment nowadays is phenomenal. We can't cure it, but we can manage it well, and you could live just as long as someone without the virus. In the 90s, the life expectancy after infection, with treatment, was an average of 19 years. Today, it's about an average of 53 years. You're young, Ruby, and we caught it fast. You're going to be okay."

Looking somewhat relieved, but eyes still shimmering with tears, Ruby locked her gaze with his and said, "Thank you, Dr. Whale."

"The acute stage of the infection should only last about two to four weeks, and the flu-like symptoms will go away on their own. We'll get you on medication to slow the infection immediately, but the symptoms you're having now will take a bit of time to dissipate."

"Two to four _weeks_?" Regina gaped, staring at Dr. Whale. "You mean she's going to be barfing for two to four weeks?"

"She very well might, yes."

"Isn't there something you can do?"

"Unfortunately, the antiretrovirals only do so much in the acute stage of the infection. When she moves into the chronic infection stage, the symptoms will subside, and the medications will do their best to slow the infection."

"And the last stage?"

"The last stage is acquired immune deficiency syndrome, and that is when the virus has taken hold to the point that your body can no longer fight the infection. That is a long, long way off for Ruby, if she takes her medications consistently, as prescribed."

Ruby swallowed hard, looking back and forth between Regina and Dr. Whale, before asking, "Doc?"

"Yes, Ruby."

"What about, um… I mean… this basically means we can't… Um…"

"Ruby," Dr. Whale sighed. "I'm your doctor. You can ask me anything. So please, don't be embarrassed. What is said in here stays in here."

"We can't have… uh…"

"Ruby, do you want me to step out?" Regina asked quickly, gently squeezing the woman's thigh.

Shaking her head, Ruby swallowed again, coughed, then leaned over and vomited over the side of the table. Face as white as a new set of sheets, she groaned. Dr. Whale was at her side in a moment with a wet cloth, wiping her mouth.

"Let me call in one of the nurses to clean up. One second, ladies."

In a moment, a nurse stepped in, offering Ruby a sympathetic smile as she bent down and began to clean the mess.

"I should've gotten you a bucket," Dr. Whale said apologetically. "I'm sorry. This was my fault."

"No, I'm—"

"It's alright, Ruby. It's really alright." The three were quiet until the nurse was gone and the door was shut, at which time Dr. Whale asked, "What were you trying to ask me?"

Sucking in a sharp, shaky breath, Ruby finally managed to gather the courage to say, "We can't be intimate, can we?"

"On the contrary. You'll have to take extra, inconvenient precautions, but you can certainly be intimate."

"What… What kind of precautions?"

"I'm going to give you a handout, okay? But I want you to know that the risk – although present – for spreading the infection between two women is very, very low. There have only been five reported and confirmed cases of the spread of the virus between two females through intercourse. The primary risk of infection between women is through oral sex, sharing sex toys, fingering, or fisting."

"_Fisting?"_" Ruby gaped. "Jesus, Doc."

"Ruby. I'm not being crude. I don't know how you engage in intercourse – nor does it matter – so I'm simply providing you with knowledge, just in case."

Regina's eyes were slightly wide from Ruby's strong reaction, and when Ruby saw it, she forced herself to grin and teased, "What, babe? You're not into fisting?"

Regina covered her face as she blushed and shook her head, mumbling, "Nope."

"Well, that takes that one off the table."

"The main concern is that you do not allow your bodily fluids to—" Dr. Whale started but was quickly cut off.

"Okay," Ruby blurted, her own cheeks becoming a darker shade of pink. "I get it."

"Condoms, gloves, and lubricants will help to—" Dr. Whale tried but was once again cut off by Ruby's protests.

"Alriiight," Ruby whined. "We get it."

"Just be careful, okay? And read the pamphlet. It'll be alright. This doesn't have to stop you from being sexually active."

Ruby bit her lip and shot Regina a worried glance before nodding her understanding and hopping off the exam table.

~!~!~

In the car on the way back to Regina's, Ruby stared out the window and said nothing.

"Ruby? You okay?" Regina asked gently, glancing over at her briefly as she turned onto Mifflin Street.

Ruby shrugged, continuing to avert her gaze.

It became glaringly obvious to Regina that Ruby didn't feel like talking, so she simply said, "I'm here for you. It'll be alright."

They were quiet as they pulled into the driveway and entered the house.

Then, Ruby found her way to the living room and mumbled, "You're never gonna let me live on my own again, are you?"

"Ruby," Regina sighed, sitting next to Ruby on the couch. "You're not my prisoner. I won't force you to stay. Just… Just know that I want you here."

"Yeah?" Ruby asked, meeting her companion's gaze.

"Yes."

"You're not just trying to keep my blood off your hands? Pun intended."

The bitter joke made Regina's stomach turn.

"Ruby," she warned. "That's not funny."

"Sure it is."

"Ruby Lucas."

"What?"

"Can you not?"

"Can I not what?"

"You're acting like a three-year-old!"

"Yeah, well… Fine," Ruby grumbled, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Babe… Why are you being like this?" Regina asked, gently touching the woman's shoulder.

"Because I'm upset, obviously. So, I take it out on the ones I love. It's what I do. That's why I have no fucking positive relationships in my life."

"Love?" Regina questioned, tilting her head slightly as she looked into Ruby's eyes.

"_Shit_," Ruby cursed, tearing her gaze away. "I just meant… you know… in general."

Regina's mouth hung open slightly, unsure of how she felt about this answer, before she replied, "Oh. Right. Of course."

The thought that Ruby could think the word _love _about her was tying the mayor's stomach in knots. Was it possible for Ruby to really feel that deeply about her? They sat together on the couch for a long while, neither of them speaking. Eventually, Ruby sighed and let her head fall to Regina's shoulder.

"We're never going to be together now, are we?" the younger woman sighed. "Everything I ever dreamed of is crushed."

"Ruby, that's ridiculous. Why wouldn't we be together, if you wanted to be?"

"Well, because I have fucking HIV, for starters. Next, I'm a worthless slut junkie who—"

"RUBY. STOP," Regina shouted, holding Ruby's shoulders and keeping her at arm's length to look into her eyes. "Don't you ever fucking say you're worthless. Not ever. And I don't care about the HIV, Ruby. It doesn't change anything."

"How the hell do you figure that it doesn't change anything?!" Ruby gaped, feeling her blood begin to boil.

"Because I care about you, and I'm invested in whatever this is that we've started. Nothing's going to change my mind, except you walking away," Regina told her sternly. Then, staring deeply into Ruby's eyes, Regina asked, "Are you walking away?"

Feeling a knot form in her throat that prevented her from speaking, Ruby simply shook her head.

"Good," the mayor noted, pulling her companion into a tight embrace. "I know this is new. I know we just started entertaining the idea of being more than acquaintances, and then more than friends. But I'm committed to this. I don't do anything half-assed. I'm all in."

Weakly, voice cracking, Ruby replied, "Me too." After a short pause, Ruby added, "I'm kinda glad Henry is with Emma tonight. I'm a fucking mess, and I wouldn't want the poor little guy to see me like this. He already had to see me— Oh, shit…"

Regina could tell that Ruby had suddenly become nauseous, so she bolted to the kitchen to grab a bucket. Returning just in time to save Ruby from puking on the floor, Regina held the bucket out to Ruby, and the woman caught it just before expelling the contents of her meager lunch.

"I'm never eating again," Ruby groaned, collapsing on the couch after setting the bucket on the floor.

"Like hell you're not," Regina snapped. "You'll eat every single meal. I'm not gonna let you die of starvation or lose weight. You're already a rail."

Ruby shut her eyes and sighed.

There was a long pause before she said, "I don't think we should do it."

"Do what, dear?"

"Have sex."

"Ruby… If you don't want to be intimate with me, I can understand that. But if you're saying this because you're worried about the infection—"

"Of course I want to be intimate with you!" Ruby nearly shouted, sitting up immediately. "Are you serious right now? You are the most stunning, captivating, radiant, sexiest woman I've ever laid eyes on."

"Oh, Ruby…" Regina said, blushing brightly as she turned away.

"And of _course _I don't want to spread the infection. Especially not to you."

"But Dr. Whale said—"

"I don't care what Dr. Whale said. If there's any chance at all – even a snowball's chance in Hell – I'm not gonna let it happen."

"Ruby," Regina said firmly. "I'm not going to pressure you. I just want you to be rational about this. Okay? So I'm gonna give you time to think about it. I'm not gonna push the issue. Like I said, I'm okay with not being intimate. I'd like to share that with you, though, if you wanted to. I'd… I'd like to be that close to you…"

"I'm not going to change my mind," Ruby mumbled, crossing her arms over her chest.

"And that's okay, as long as you're weighing your options with logic and not fear. I _am _willing to be intimate with you. We can be safe, just like Dr. Whale said. We'd be fine. Just think about it, okay? And I'm not saying this for me. I'm saying this because I don't want you to sabotage your own desires because of this illness, especially if there really is no risk, if we're careful and practice safe sex."

"Alright!" Ruby cried. "Enough with your ridiculous logic and smartypantsness. God, I fucking hate when you're right."

"Just think about it. I'll check in in a few days and you can tell me your final decision. But just so you know… you can always change your mind."

Ruby nodded and squeezed Regina's hand, "Thanks for understanding and respecting my right to make this decision."

"It's not consent unless both parties are in agreement."

"Ha," Ruby forced herself to laugh bitterly. "Consent. That's hilarious."

"What?"

"I dunno. I'm just not used to anyone giving two shits about 'consent.'"

Regina's heart sank as she looked down at her lap, squeezing Ruby's hand.

"I'm sorry you've gone through all this," Regina sighed. "I wish I could take all that pain away for you. And I'm so sorry that I made you feel worthless enough to use in the first place…"

"Regina—"

"I think this is my fault."

"REGINA. Fuck _off _with that shit! _I _made the choice to use. _I _made the choice to let him touch me. _I _did that. Not you."

Regina began to cry, letting go of Ruby's hand to cover her face. As soon as Regina pulled away, though, Ruby tugged her down on top of her and wrapped her arms protectively around Regina's torso.

"This isn't your fault," Ruby whispered, kissing Regina's temple. "Don't ever say that, okay? And besides, there's really no point in either of us feeling guilty. What's done is done."

Regina nodded weakly, sniffled, and clung to her companion before the two fell asleep on the couch.

~!~!~

As the 'acute' stage of Ruby's HIV passed and transformed into the 'chronic' HIV infection stage, with the treatment of several regular antiretroviral medicines, her symptoms faded. She felt less nauseous, her rash was gone, and her headaches were few and far between. Regina couldn't deny her intense level of relief at seeing Ruby regain some peace.

"I'm so glad you're feeling better," Regina told her, holding her hand as they sat across from each other at the dining room table.

Ruby nodded and looked down at her plate of spaghetti with large, hopeful eyes.

"I'm _starving._"

"I'm just happy you have your appetite back. Go ahead and eat, Rubes. You don't have to wait for me."

"Yeah, but—"

"Okay. I'll eat too," Regina laughed, twirling some of the spaghetti around her fork and taking a graceful bite.

Ruby, on the other hand, dove in, pretty much face-first, and devoured several bites in moments.

"Easy," Regina warned her, squeezing her free hand. "Take it slow. Your stomach is just starting to settle. Don't overdo it."

Ruby rolled her eyes and grinned at Regina.

"Hey," she blurted. "You wanna do the Lady and the Tramp thing?"

"You mean share a noodle?" Regina chuckled. "The sauce will get all over the tablecloth."

"What the hell is the tablecloth for, if not to get dirty?"

"Okay, I see your point…" After a pause, Regina added, "Alright."

After finding just the right noodle, they both leaned in, each taking one end of the spaghetti into their mouth and pulling it in slowly until their lips met.

Ruby deepened the kiss, but before Regina could stop herself, she pulled away abruptly and burst into laughter.

"That _has _to be the most ridiculous thing I've ever done with a partner," she told Ruby, wiping tears of laughter from her eyes.

"I'm cute," Ruby asserted, once again grinning. "You love it."

"You are pretty adorable."

Ruby shrugged and continued to eat her meal, proudly wearing a smug smirk.

~!~!~

Once Ruby was feeling symptom-free, Henry returned home, and of course, he and Ruby hit it off perfectly.

"I'm gonna kick your little butt at this game!" Ruby bragged, grabbing the second controller for the game console.

"Yeah, right!" Henry laughed. "No way could you ever beat me. I'm the _master _at racing."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah!"

The two sat on the couch together for several hours before Henry sighed, "I'm bored of losing. Wanna watch a movie?"

"Sure, kid," Ruby agreed with a grin, ruffling his hair. "Watcha wanna watch?"

"Ninja turtles?"

"T.M.N.T., or the original?"

"The original, duh! The only Turtles movie that matters."

Ruby laughed at this and leaned in, kissing his temple.

"You're too cute. Ya know that, kid?"

"I'm not a kid, Ruby! I'm like fifteen!"

"You're eleven," Regina cut in, appearing beside them next to the couch.

"Okay, well… still. I'm not a kid," Henry protested, crossing his arms.

"You're right, little sir. But you are still cute," the younger woman told him, smiling. When she saw him scowl at her, she revised her statement to, "Alright. Handsome then. Very, very handsome. You get your good looks from your mom, you know that?"

Henry nodded and beamed at Ruby, then turned to his mother and said, "Hear that? Ruby said I'm handsome!"

"You are indeed, my prince," Regina agreed with a smile, bending over to kiss the top of his head. "You are indeed."

Half way through the movie, Henry fell asleep on the couch.

"Hen," Ruby whispered, shaking his shoulder. "Time for bed, little buddy."

Grumbling in protest, Henry wrapped his arms around Ruby and clung tighter as he cuddled into her side.

Regina looked at the two, lovestruck by their bond, and watched as Ruby slowly woke Henry.

"Come on, handsome. I'll tuck you in," Ruby whispered, helping the eleven-year-old off the couch.

Once upstairs in his bed, Regina kissed her son's forehead and announced, "I'll leave you both to it then. Sweet dreams, my prince."

Henry smiled sleepily and held Ruby's hand as she sat down on the side of his bed.

"Ruby?" he asked gently.

"Yes, love?"

"Why'd I have to go away to Emma's?"

Ruby froze and felt her palms begin to sweat as she stammered, "W-Well… I was… I was pretty sick, Hen, and I didn't want you to see me hurting."

"But why'd it take so long for you to get better?"

"Because what I was experiencing was a really, really bad, yucky illness. But I'm okay now, alright, buddy? You have nothing to worry about."

"You won't leave us?"

"What? Why would you ask that, Henry?"

"I dunno," Henry lied with a shrug. "Just wondering."

"Henry Daniel Mills," Ruby said sternly, putting her hand on his shoulder. "Unless your mom tells me to leave, I'd never let you two go."

"Oh, well that's okay then," Henry reasoned. "'Cause Mom would never tell you to leave. She loves you too much."

They'd never used the word love with each other – it seemed too official, too scary, too real – so when Henry implied that his mother felt this way, Ruby felt her mouth go dry as the sweat on her palms increased.

"Henry—" she started softly but was quickly cut off by the young man staring up at her with wide, hopeful eyes.

"I love you too, Ruby," Henry announced with a bright smile. "Lots. So don't leave, okay?"

Swallowing hard, Ruby looked down at Henry and nodded her head, saying, "Okay, buddy. I won't leave."

~!~!~

Ruby's relationship with Henry blossomed over the next several weeks.

"I'm glad you're staying with us now," Henry told her, snuggling into her side as they sat on the couch together.

"Gimme some fin, handsome," Ruby requested, holding her hand up for a high five. He slapped her hand with his before she said, "Noggin!"

Henry knocked their foreheads together lightly with a grin and said, "Duuuude!"

Before either of them could laugh at their own inside joke, based on the scene in Henry's favorite movie, Finding Nemo, Regina appeared at the side of the couch, chuckling at their antics.

"You two are goobers," Regina announced, the corner of her lips curling into a smile as she shook her head. "What am I gonna do with you two, huh?"

"Love me, feed me, never leave me!" Henry shouted.

Ruby burst out laughing as Regina leaned in, kissing her son's forehead and saying, "That's right. Good boy."

Regina sat down beside them on the couch, with Henry in the middle, and continued to observe the two people she cared most about in the world. As the movie played on the television, both Henry and Ruby had their eyes glued to the screen. Regina, of course, was distracted by the adorable little interactions between them, like when Ruby held the bowl of popcorn out in front of Henry, without looking at him, and retracted it as soon as she heard his hand leave the bowl.

"Alright, you two," Regina announced, when the film had finished. "Time for bed."

"But whyyy," Henry whined loudly, clinging to Ruby. "I wanna stay up with Ruby!"

"Henry Daniel. Upstairs, now. I want teeth and PJs in the next ten minutes, or you're in deep trouble, mister."

With a heavy, exaggerated sigh, Henry slumped off the couch and marched loudly up the stairs into the bathroom where he began to brush his teeth.

After the two had tucked him in and were lying in their own bed in Regina's room, Regina curled up against Ruby's side and rested her head on the woman's shoulder.

"You're really good with him, you know," the mayor commented. "He adores you."

Ruby stayed quiet, processing Regina's words, until finally, she said, "I adore him too."

"I know you do, darling," Regina said with a smile, rubbing her palm over Ruby's abdomen.

The feeling was so warm, so comforting, that Ruby's eyes fell shut.

"He loves you, Ruby," Regina said, after another long moment of silence.

In response, Ruby sighed, "Not sure why."

"Ruby," Regina scolded her. "Enough."

"I'm sorry," Ruby mumbled.

Regina took in a full breath and sat up, leaving her hand flat over Ruby's stomach.

"I love you too, Ruby," the mayor said, her voice cracking. "Thank you for staying with me."

Ruby winced, so Regina's brow furrowed in confusion.

"What is it?" she asked. "Oh, shit… I shouldn't have said that…"

"No, it's—"

"I upset you."

"Regina, wait. Hold on a second."

"I'm so sorry, Ruby. I didn't mean to say it. It just came out. _Fuck. _Look, please don't run, okay? I know you're not ready for the L word, and you don't have to say it back, but I… I guess I just couldn't keep it from you anymore. I'm sorry."

"Regina, stop," Ruby ordered, gently pulling her partner back down into her arms. "It's alright."

Biting her lip, Regina went quiet until they both fell asleep in each other's arms.

~!~!~

The next morning, after Regina went to work, Ruby found herself alone in the house with Henry (which wasn't unusual).

Cradling a bag of tortilla chips and a small bowl of salsa, she stood in the door frame to the living room, watching whatever cartoon Henry had playing on the television.

"So why's that peach just floating in the lake?" Ruby asked, observing the scene.

"That's not a peach, Ruby," Henry laughed. "That's Goku's bum. Watch."

When the cartoon man on the screen appeared from the water, revealing his cartoon ass, Ruby nearly dropped the chips and salsa as her mouth fell open.

"What the _hell _are you watching?!" she cried. "Your mum's gonna kill me!"

"Dragon Ball Z, season 1, episode 14," Henry answered with a cheeky grin. "And Mom knows I watch it. I mean… she didn't like seeing his butthole much, but it's not like they showed his—"

"Henry!" Ruby cried. "Dear God."

"Yeah, in one of the first episodes, Gohan pees off the side of a cliff and you can totally see his—"

"Henry, enough," Ruby gaped. "How can you watch this crap?"

"Just wait," Henry urged her, looking back at the screen. "He's gonna fight Princess Snake!"

"Dude, I am not watching this guy fight a snake butt-naked."

"He won't be butt naked," Henry said simply. "He's gonna put his clothes on. He was just relaxing in the lake, because Princess Snake tricked him into—"

"WHOA!" Ruby cried excitedly, seeing the main character of the show start to fight Princess Snake, who had turned into a real snake and was attacking him. "Intense!"

"See? Told ya, Mom. It's _epic_."

Ruby felt her heart stop, as though she was dead on an operating table. Had he just called her 'mom?' Before she could speak, she felt her stomach turn over like an upset ancestor rolling over in a grave.

"Be right b—" she tried but had to run to the kitchen before finishing the word as she emptied the contents of her stomach into the sink.

_Shit, shit, shit,_ Ruby's thoughts raced, as she held her abdomen, feeling almost as sick as she had a few weeks ago. But she knew this wasn't illness. This was her own aversion to intense emotional connections with others. She could acknowledge that, but she couldn't manage it.

The rest of the day, she sat in Regina's study, only coming out to check on Henry once every couple of hours, until his biological mother came to pick him up around one in the afternoon.

Ruby paced the upstairs hallway as she broke into a sweat. Wringing her hands, she felt her palms become slick and uncomfortably hot. Then, she felt her arms become itchy. Scratching wouldn't help, and shortly after trying this, Ruby realized exactly what was happening.

Biting down on her lip until she drew blood, Ruby went into the spare bedroom where most of her things were being stored. After digging frantically through a dark blue duffel bag, Ruby found the object of her desire. And her downfall.

She hadn't really _meant _to keep a stash, but on the other hand, it was a security blanket. It wasn't like she intentionally kept drugs in the house. It was just that she hadn't really thought to throw them out. Continuing to sweat, Ruby gripped the syringe and sat down on the bed, thinking hard about her choices.

_I can't be a mom. I can't be a mom. I can't be a mom._

The thoughts raced faster and faster, on repeat, like a train going in circles so forcefully that even an obstacle on the tracks couldn't stop it. Trying to breathe deeply to calm herself, Ruby felt her pulse elevate.

"I can't fucking do this," she whispered. "I can't. I just can't."

No longer torn about her decision, Ruby loaded the shot, prepped the injection site, and allowed the needle to enter her arm.

_Oh, God, _she thought, feeling the liquid burn her veins. _Regina's going to hate me. What the fuck did I just do?_

Half-way through the shot, Ruby felt herself freeze. But the euphoria hadn't kicked in, so she found herself unable to remove the needle from her arm. Instead, she loaded the rest of the shot into her veins, dropped the needle on the floor, and allowed the temporary wave of relief to take over.

~!~!~

Ruby woke up in the hospital, gasping for air. When she saw the machines and heard the beeping of the heart monitor – which sounded more like an alarm than a steady heartbeat – she knew exactly where she was.

"Oh, _fuck,_" she cursed, frantically looking around the room.

Of course, Regina was seated at the bedside, watching her as she woke.

"Fuck, Gina," Ruby blurted. "I am so, so sorry."

When Ruby saw that Regina was crying, she felt even worse.

"Gina… Please… I just…"

"What _happened?_" Regina snapped angrily, rising from her seat and approaching the bed. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Everything," Ruby moaned, covering her face. "What happened?"

"I found you on the bed in the guest room, barely breathing. You nearly died."

"What?"

"What you injected was Fentanyl, not heroin," Regina said simply, wiping the tears from her eyes. "I almost lost you."

"Holy shit," Ruby breathed. "What's it take to get a clean hit nowadays?"

"RUBY," Regina shouted, wanting to flip the bedside table next to them. "You think this is funny?"

"No," Ruby said quickly. "I'm sorry. I cope with my feelings through humor, alright? It was a bad joke, and I'm sorry. This whole thing was fucked up. I'm so, so sorry."

"I can't believe you kept drugs in the house!" Regina screamed. "What about Henry?"

Letting out a low moan, Ruby rolled onto her side and mumbled something inaudible into her hands.

"What?" Regina questioned, irritation soaking her voice.

"He called me mom," Ruby sobbed, digging her nails into the flesh of her arms.

"Rubes," Regina said quickly, rushing to the woman's side to pull her hands away from her forearms. "Don't." Then, after a pause filled with only Ruby's sobs, Regina asked, "Wait… Henry called you mom?"

Ruby nodded weakly and continued to cry, unable to speak due to the knot in her throat.

"But… But isn't that a good thing?" Regina asked gently, placing a hand on Ruby's shoulder. "Don't you want him to—"

"No," Ruby snapped, roughly wiping her eyes. "I can't be a mom, Regina. I'm a fucking failure. I just proved that."

"You fucked up, Ruby. You fucked up _really _bad," the mayor told her. "But that doesn't make you a bad person, and it certainly doesn't make you a failure."

"I _am _a failure. I failed you, I failed Henry… and I failed myself. I just… I couldn't… I couldn't handle it. I lost my shit, alright? I admit it. I'm weak. I can't handle the responsibility. I can't handle being a mom. And… You said you love me and it all just… I lost my shit. I'm sorry."

Before Ruby could say another word, and before Regina could respond, the door to the hospital room opened, and Granny walked in. Standing by Ruby's bedside with tears in her eyes, she gripped her granddaughter's hand.

"How did this happen, baby girl?" she whimpered. "I thought—"

"I know," Ruby groaned, pulling her hand away. "I'm sorry, okay? I fucked up! I _know. _God. I already think I'm a miserable fuck, so you _really _don't have to rub it in."

"We're not saying that," Granny said sharply. "We're saying we care about you, Ruby Lucas. We're saying we want you _alive._"

"Yeah, well… if I didn't want to die yesterday, I _definitely_ do now."

Granny turned away, letting out a loud sob. Regina responded by wrapping her arms around the woman and keeping her in a supportive embrace.

"Maybe you should go sit down," Regina offered carefully, rubbing Granny's back. "I'll stay with her."

"Oh, Regina… Please, do something."

"No pressure," Regina tried to laugh, but felt the sound stuck in her throat as she said the words.

"Oh, sweetheart… I just meant—"

"No, it's okay. I just… I think Ruby needs to do this for herself. I think Ruby needs to get _clean _for herself."

Granny sniffled and nodded, turning back to her granddaughter, saying, "I love you, Ruby. I wish you could see that."

"I know, Gran," Ruby mumbled, rubbing her eyes. "But you should let me go. I'm only a burden on you. There's no point in you—"

"Enough, Ruby!" Regina shot back.

When Ruby blushed from embarrassment and went silent, Regina walked Granny out to the waiting room. Once she returned, Regina stared at Ruby for a long while before speaking.

"I'm not disappointed in you," Regina told her. "I'm scared for you. And selfishly, I don't want to lose you."

"Yeah, well… It's not like you'd keep me around now. I fucking—"

"If you ever – _ever _– bring drugs into my house again, I will hand you over to Emma so I don't hurt you, drive away, and never look back. You know better than anyone that I would do anything to protect Henry, and if you put him in any kind of danger again… Yes, this would be over. But right now… Right now, Ruby… I'm going to look at this as a huge slip-up and move on. But you're going to rehab as soon as you're medically cleared and detoxed."

Of course, Ruby was already feeling the pain of withdrawals, but her stomach turned even more when Regina said the word 'rehab.'

"No fucking way," Ruby growled, scowling at her partner. "No. Fucking. Way."

"Oh, you're going. You're going to do it for me. And for Henry. And for you."

"I'm really not."

"Sure you are."

"What makes you think you can force me?"

"Because I know that deep down, you want to live. And I know that deep down… you want a family. And if you don't do this, you will _lose us. _Do you get that?"

Swallowing hard at the harshness of Regina's words, Ruby reluctantly nodded her head.

"Say it."

"Yes. I get it. I'll go."

"You may struggle with suicidal thoughts, Ruby, but I know you don't want to leave me, or Henry."

"But what if I—"

"You're going," Regina asserted again. "You're going, and when you get back, we're going to be a happy family again."

"Again?"

"Don't be daft, Ruby. Of course you're family." Turning away, Ruby went silent, so Regina continued, "Don't do that. Don't run from what you want most in the world."

"But I'll _ruin _it. I'll ruin _you. _I just can't, Regina. I can't."

"Fuck off with that shit. You're going to rehab, and then you're coming home to us. That's all there is to it. So get some rest and start coping with the fact that you're going to get clean." Taking a few steps towards the door, Regina stated, "I'll be right outside the door. I just need a few minutes. Try to sleep."

Ruby wanted to protest, but before she could get the words out, Regina had stepped into the hallway.

~!~!~

Twenty-eight days _crawled _by, and it didn't get easier for Ruby (or Regina) as the time passed. In fact, when Ruby finally graduated from rehabilitation, she was so eager to see her partner that her stomach was erupting with butterflies as she waited for Regina's Mercedes to pull up at the front door of the facility to pick her up.

When Regina finally arrived, Ruby dug her heels into the dirt anxiously and twisted, kicking up dust. To her surprise, Regina parked the car, got out of the vehicle, and ran directly for her.

When they embraced, Ruby returned the hug with enthusiasm, her anxiety and shame fading somewhat as she felt Regina's warm breath on her neck.

"Fuck, I missed you," Regina sighed, clinging hard to her lover.

"I'm so glad I'm done, Gina," Ruby sighed, rubbing the mayor's back. "It was awful. Anyway, how's Henry?"

"He's not doing so well, Rubes…" Regina said, biting her lip. "He's failing some of his classes, and he's acting out at school."

"Acting out how?" Ruby questioned, looking concerned.

"He's been getting into fights."

"Like, punching kids?"

"Like punching kids."

"Oh, shit."

"Yeah, I know… and…"

"And?" Ruby questioned, looking at Regina quizzically as they threw Ruby's suitcase into the trunk of the car.

"And he really needs you home."

"You're not saying this is my fault, are you?"

"No, honey! No. I just mean… I think he's acting out because he misses you."

"You think so?"

"Yeah, I do. I think he needs us both. He'd gotten so used to you being around that when you were gone…"

"What does he know about what happened?"

"Not much. Just that you got really sick again and that you needed treatment."

Ruby nodded and ducked into the passenger's seat.

"Think he'll be happy to see me?" Ruby asked, after a few moments of quiet.

"Of course," Regina told her with a broad smile. "He doesn't know you're coming home."

"Aww," Ruby cooed, smiling back at Regina. "That's adorable. I hope he makes that adorable little shocked face he has."

"He will, babe. He misses you so much. And so did I."

"Hey, Gina?"

"Yes, love?"

"Do you still love me?" Ruby asked carefully, unsure of whether to look over at Regina or whether to avert her gaze.

"Of course I still love you. Don't be ridiculous. That will never change."

"Oh. Good. Because I sorted my shit out, and…" Ruby started, but felt the words getting stuck and sucked in a deep breath. "And I love you too."

~!~!~

"Hey, champ!" Ruby cried, rushing in the front door to find Henry standing beside Emma, waiting for her. Lifting the boy into her arms, she spun him around and kissed the top of his head. "Still handsome as ever, I see."

But when Ruby set him down on the floor, she saw a look of confusion and pain in his face.

"What's the matter, buddy?" Ruby asked with concern.

Henry shrugged his shoulders and mumbled, "Why'd you have to go?"

Taking in a steadying breath, Ruby put her hands on his shoulders, looking into his eyes, and said, "Listen, kiddo… You have a really great home here, and I really didn't have that when I was your age. I made a lot of bad choices, which is why I had to go away for a while. I was never going to abandon you. More than anything else, I want to be here for you and your mom."

Regina smiled at this, feeling her heart warm with Ruby's confession as she put her hand on her partner's shoulder.

"Promise?" Henry asked, his voice squeaking somewhat from the emotion.

Ruby nodded and told him, "I promise."

"This wasn't my fault, was it?" the boy asked suddenly, a look of shame displayed on his features.

Ruby's mouth hung open as she looked to Regina for support, but her partner offered her none, instead allowing Ruby to handle the situation on her own.

Realizing that she was getting no way out from Regina, Ruby turned back to Henry and said sternly, "Of course not."

"I gotta go, guys," Emma cut in, her tone apologetic. "Glad you're okay, Ruby. See you guys next weekend. I'll pick Henry up around six on Friday."

Regina nodded, and Ruby replied, "Thanks, Em. See you later."

Once Emma was gone, Henry started to cry and whimpered with a shaking voice, "Did this happen because I called you mom? I'm r-really s-sorry, Ruby. I just… I wish… I wish you wanted to be my mom."

Ruby thought she might faint but managed to maintain most of her composure long enough to say, "I do want to be your mom, little buddy."

"You d-do?" Henry sniffled, wiping the dribble from his nose on the back of his hand.

"I want nothing more than to be a good partner for your mother, and a good mom to you."

Regina stared, dumbfounded at the change she saw in Ruby, and watched as Henry threw his arms around her, squeezing her tightly.

"Shit, kid," Ruby laughed. "You're _strong._"

"Yeah, I know!" Henry cried with a grin, squeezing Ruby tighter. "You are too, though! You can pick me up."

"Yeah. I go to the gym once every year or so. It pays off," Ruby laughed.

Shaking her head with a smirk, Regina kissed Ruby's cheek.

"You're a Super Saiyan, like Goku in Dragon Ball Z!" the boy shouted, clinging to Ruby. "I'm so glad you're home. Now you can protect us when the evil saiyans come to Earth!"

"Good Lord, Henry," Regina huffed. "What _are _you going on about?"

"Dragon Ball Z," Ruby answered. "Some kid pisses off a mountain and it shows his wiener. Not to mention, it shows Goku's asshole."

Mouth hanging open as she gaped at Ruby, Regina then turned to Henry and gasped, "What in the world have you been _watching?_"

"Oh, _shit,_" Ruby gasped, staring at Henry. "You told me your mom was okay with it, kid!"

Grinning, Henry shrugged his shoulders and ran off into the other room, calling out, "Love you, moms!"

"Are you telling me that this show he's been watching shows _naked people?_ And you let him _watch it?_" Regina hissed, scowling at Ruby.

"Hey! First of all, it's just a cartoon, and there's no explicit language. Just a bunch of cartoon fighting. And second of all, he _told me _you were okay with it!"

"And you _believed him?_" Regina shouted. "He's eleven!"

"Okay, listen. The show is _technically _geared for ages nine to fourteen…"

"I don't give two _shits _what age groups it's geared for! I don't want my son looking at wieners and assholes on television!"

Turning red, Ruby covered her face and muttered, "I'm never trusting that kid as far as I can throw him again."

"Yeah. You're damn right," Regina sighed, pushing a frustrated hand through her hair. "Good Lord, that boy's gonna be the death of me."

"He's a handful, that's for sure," Ruby agreed. "But he sure is a cutie!"

Rolling her eyes, Regina told her, "You're just in love with the little guy. You're blind to his behavior."

"I am _not!_ Look, I'll go talk to him about school right now."

"Ruby—"

"See ya in two hours," Ruby joked, turning and following Henry's footsteps up the stairs and into his room. Once the door was shut behind her, Ruby watched for a moment as Henry sat quietly on his bed with a book, not looking up at her, then asked, "Hey, kiddo?"

"Hmm?" he hummed, finally looking up from the pages of his book.

"Can I talk to you about something?"

"If this is about Dragon Ball…"

"No, kid. It's about school."

Letting out a loud, exaggerated, audible groan, Henry flopped dramatically backwards onto his pillow.

"Don't wanna talk," he whined.

"What happened, little buddy? Why've you been getting into fights? You know better, Henry."

"I don't need a speech, Ruby!" Henry shouted. "God. You're just like Mom."

Ruby felt the pangs of discomfort hit the pit of her stomach. This disciplinary role was very new to her, but she had to prove to Regina, to Henry, and to herself that she could be a parent. She wasn't going to give up on her role as Henry's mother, since that's what he'd asked of her. Anything she could give him, she would. Even if it meant discipline in his best interest.

"I am just like your mom," Ruby said, after taking a deep breath. "Know why?"

Henry grumbled, "No," and looked away.

"Because I love you, Henry. I don't want you to get hurt."

"I didn't get hurt!"

"But you could've."

"Yeah, well. I didn't. Besides, I had my pocket knife on me. I could'a shanked that bastard."

"HENRY DANIEL!" Ruby barked. "You had your _what?_"

"Don't tell Mom, okay?" Henry pleaded, biting his lip. "It's not that big of a deal."

"Give me the knife, _now,_" Ruby shot back sternly, holding out her hand.

"No," Henry replied defiantly. "It's mine."

"Where the hell did you get it?"

"It was a gift."

"Bullshit, Henry. Where did you get the knife?"

"I stole it off Hansel," Henry sighed. "But I _had _to!"

"How so?"

"He was…"

"He was what?" Ruby pressed, when the boy trailed off and stopped speaking.

"He was bullying me."

"You're getting bullied?!" Ruby gasped. "I'm gonna fucking—"

"_Was _getting bullied," Henry said proudly, smirking. "Not anymore."

"Oh, Henry," Ruby sighed, sitting down next to him on the bed. "You _can't _have a knife. You're eleven. You could hurt someone. More importantly, if they ever got the knife off you, they could really do some damage."

"So could I."

"Henry Daniel. You're gonna give me that knife right now, or I'm going to tell your mother."

Henry laughed bitterly at this and shot back, "You're gonna tell her anyway."

Sighing, Ruby mumbled, "You're too smart for your own good."

"Nah. I'm just done getting pushed around."

"I'm going to the school tomorrow, and I'm going to talk to them about the bullying. You're going to give me that knife _right now_. And if I _ever _catch you with a weapon again, I will ground your little butt for all eternity. Do you understand me?"

Never having been stern with him, Ruby's stomach was thrashing. This was a new role for her, and it was difficult to play. On the other hand, there was no way she was letting him get away with this. And it was her chance to prove she wasn't a pushover. She might be his buddy, but she was still his mom, and Ruby had to remind herself of this as she continued the conversation.

When Henry crossed his arms and looked away, Ruby raised her voice and said, "_Now, _Henry."

"Fuck! Fine!" he shouted, scrambling off his bed and digging angrily through his backpack.

"And watch your mouth!" Ruby scolded him. "I'm not joking around here. I _love you, _Henry. And I always will. But that doesn't mean I'm going to let you get away with acting out. You want me to be your mom? Great. I want that more than anything. But it comes with responsibilities. Do you understand?"

With a heavy sigh, Henry muttered, "Yeah," as he slapped the closed, medium-sized pocket knife into Ruby's palm.

"Get rid of that attitude, too. You need to straighten up, or your mom is gonna get pissed. This stuff you're pulling… the fights, the knife, the backtalk. It's not gonna get you anywhere you want to go. Do you get that?"

"_Yes,_" Henry hissed. "Jesus. Can we drop it now? Just go tell Mom and get it over with. Might as well get murdered sooner rather than later. I don't care anyway."

"Henry?" Ruby asked gently, placing her hand on top of his as he sat back down on the bed. "What do you mean?"

"I don't care if I'm here or not. Not anymore."

Ruby felt her stomach stop turning and seemingly drop straight out of her body.

"Henry Daniel," she whispered. "Please, don't say that."

"Fine. I won't say it. You'll just wake up one morning and find me—"

"Easy, buddy," Ruby urged him. "Let's just talk this through. Where are these thoughts coming from?"

"I don't know."

"Yes, you do. Talk to me, Hen. You can tell me anything. There are always consequences for behavior, but I'm not going to get angry with you."

"You're not angry at me? For the fights? For the knife?"

"Of course not."

"Oh," he said simply, looking away.

"Darling prince," Ruby said softly, turning his chin so that he had to look her in the eyes. "It's okay. This isn't something to keep inside, alright? There's no shame in these feelings. We just have to make sure that we talk about them. That we do anything we can to keep you safe. Your mom and I need you here, little buddy. We love you to pieces."

"No one else does."

"Granny loves you. Emma, your grandparents… They all love you."

"But I have no _friends!_" Henry shouted. "Everyone hates me!"

Henry's door swung open and Regina appeared in the doorway.

Having heard the yelling, she asked, "Everything okay in here?"

Ruby nodded and told her, "We're okay."

When Henry nodded in agreement with Ruby, Regina nodded and returned to her own bedroom, leaving the to finish their discussion.

"Hansel… He's a shithead, okay?" Ruby told Henry, squeezing his hand. "You're a good boy. These fights… They're not you."

"Yeah, they are. They have to be."

"Why? Why does this have to be you?"

"Hold on," Henry said softly, pulling out a crumpled note from his pocket and handing it to Ruby.

Looking down at the paper, Ruby saw Henry's name outlined in all capital letters, the picture showing blood droplets dripping from the letters of his name. Below, an arrow pointed up at his name with the words, 'Dead man.'

Ruby swallowed hard and looked up at Henry, whose eyes had filled with tears.

"This is no joke, Henry," Ruby told him.

"I know. That's why I stole the knife off him."

"How'd you get it?"

"Backpack, while he was going to the bathroom."

"I'm giving it to the superintendent of the school, and we're gonna get him expelled."

"You _can't!_" Henry cried. "Snitches get stitches. Don't you know that? He'll fucking shoot me."

"Henry… Does Hansel have access to guns?"

When the boy nodded his head, Ruby asked, "Did he tell you this, or did you see it?"

"Nah. He just told me."

"I'm not gonna let you get hurt," Ruby promised. "I'll take care of this."

Henry sighed and wiped the tears from his eyes, hugging Ruby tightly.


	3. Chapter 3

"Regina…" Ruby said softly, stepping into their bedroom.

"Is Henry okay?" Regina asked anxiously, looking at Ruby with concern.

"Not, really, Gina… I mean, he'll be alright, but…"

"What happened?"

"Henry, um… He…" Ruby tried, but felt the words stick like peanut butter in her throat.

"Ruby. Tell me, now."

With a heavy sigh, Ruby handed over the closed knife and sat down on the bed beside her partner.

"Oh, my God. You got this from him?"

"Technically, yes. But _he _got it from _Hansel._"

"HANSEL!?" Regina shouted, causing Ruby to leap forward and cover her mouth.

"Shh," Ruby hissed. "He doesn't need to hear you yelling."

"Are you _kidding me _right now?" Regina shot back angrily. "He is in deep—"

"Hansel is bullying him."

"_What?!_"

"Regina," Ruby whispered, stroking the woman's hair back with gentle hands. "You need to calm down right now."

"CALM DOWN!? You think I can—"

"Enough, Regina! He wanted to defend himself, that's all. He gave me the knife. He knows he can't resort to violence. I'm going to call the superintendent tomorrow morning."

"But—"

"If you explode on him, he's going to shut down," Ruby warned her partner. "I know you're his mom, and ultimately, it's your choice how you handle this. But I've been in Henry's shoes, and—"

"You were bullied?" Regina asked, expression softening into one of concern.

"Of course I was bullied," Ruby sighed. "I was the town slut."

Regina bit her lip and pulled Ruby into a tight embrace, holding her close.

"You're right," Regina conceded, once she'd pulled away. "I need to relax right now. I just can't believe he'd—"

"It's bad, Regina," Ruby told her. "It's really, really bad. He's thinking about hurting himself."

"Hurting himself?" the mayor gasped, gaping at Ruby.

With another sigh, Ruby answered, "He said he doesn't care if he's here anymore or not. And started to say that one day we'll just wake up and find him…"

Regina moved to stand up, but Ruby pulled on her arm to hold her down.

"Easy," Ruby whispered. "We just have to show him that we love him right now. He needs compassion, understanding, and validation. He knows he's in trouble. He knows taking the knife was wrong. I really do think the focus needs to be on his mental health right now. Like I said, you're his mom, and you can handle this how you want to, but that's just my input, as someone who was in his shoes and _didn't _get validation."

Regina nodded weakly and flopped back against the pillows, shutting her eyes to keep in the tears.

"It's okay, baby," Ruby told her. "He'll be okay." Then, after a pause, Ruby asserted, "And you can't use a fireball on the bully."

Regina wasn't sure whether to be insulted by this, to feel guilty about the way she'd used her fireball the last time, or to laugh. Luckily, it came out as a laugh, and she pulled Ruby down on top of her, wrapping her arms around Ruby's torso to keep her close.

"I love you, Ruby Lucas," the mayor told her partner. "You're an amazing mom."

Biting her lip, Ruby looked away and mumbled, "I'm trying."

"You're succeeding, darling."

Softly, the younger woman replied, "Thanks."

~!~!~

The next morning, Regina called the superintendent of the school to give her approval to speak with Ruby regarding her son.

When Ruby arrived at the school, after dropping Henry off at the side door, she felt her palms sweating as she walked up the stairs into the front entrance of the building. Once in the superintendent's office, Ruby sat down and took in a deep, steadying breath.

"What is this about, Miss Lucas?" the superintendent asked gently, sitting down behind her desk.

"One of your students threatened my son with a knife and threatened to bring a gun to school."

The superintendent pushed her glasses up her nose and stared at Ruby, obviously taken aback by what the woman had told her.

"Is that true?" she questioned. When Ruby nodded her head, she asked, "Which student?"

"Hansel," Ruby answered, her voice suddenly strong and confident. "And I want him expelled."

"Miss Lucas—"

"I hope you take this very, very seriously, Miss, because I and Henry's mother will not hesitate to go to the local news channel and plaster this story _everywhere._"

"Of course I take this seriously. Any threat made on a student's life is very concerning. However, the school board will have to meet to determine the child's guilt in the matter, and what the consequences of the behavior will be."

"Bullshit," Ruby spat. "You have the final word, and we both know that. You decide. And I'm telling you right now, if you put my son in danger for one more minute…"

"Alright, Miss Lucas. Please, do calm down. How do you know this story to be true?"

"Henry told me. But more importantly, he stole the knife he was threatened with from Hansel and gave it to me."

Of course, Ruby failed to share the part of the story where Henry had declined to give it to her in the first place – because that wasn't the point – but she knew damn well that the last thing she was going to let happen was for her son to get in trouble for this.

"In that case, Henry—"

"Oh, no you don't. Don't even think about punishing Henry for self-defense. He's not getting suspended just because he didn't want to get _killed _by some little punk at school."

"Miss Lucas—"

"I want him expelled. I'm taking Henry home, and if Hansel hasn't been expelled by tomorrow morning, this story will be plastered on every news channel you can think of. And letting students into the school with weapons will leave blood on _your _hands. Oh, and Henry's not coming back to school until I _know _Hansel won't be here."

"Alright. Enough. I see your point, Miss Lucas, and I will discuss Hansel's expulsion with the board after contacting his parents by the end of the school day. I will call Regina with our decision."

"I expect you will," Ruby asserted. "And I expect you'll make the right decision."

Ruby stood triumphantly, feeling more confident than she had since she last got into a bar fight, and moved to leave the room, but the superintendent interrupted her exit, saying, "Miss Lucas. Did Henry _see _the supposed gun?"

"No," Ruby told her. "But the threat was enough. I sure would check with his parents, though. Good luck."

And with that, Ruby left the office to retrieve Henry from his first class of the day.

~!~!~

"What did you say to her?" Henry asked, once he and Ruby were alone in the car.

"That he's getting expelled, or else," Ruby replied simply, shrugging her shoulders as she drove the car out of the parking lot.

"Wow," Henry commented, looking out the passenger side window. "What did she say?"

"Don't worry about that, Hen. I got this covered, okay? You don't need to worry about it."

Grumbling, Henry crossed his arms over his chest and ignored Ruby until they reached the mansion at 108 Mifflin Street.

~!~!~

"Please do the dishes before your mom gets home," Ruby said, upon dropping her keys on the table in the foyer. "I'm gonna make dinner for us."

"What?" Henry snapped. "Mom never makes me do the dishes. Why do I have to do the dishes?"

"I don't know why it's a big deal," Ruby told him, looking sternly into his eyes. "You're expected to do your share of chores around the house."

"Come on! Dishes?! Really?!" Henry whined loudly, stomping one of his feet.

Rolling her eyes, Ruby ordered him, "Just do it, please."

"Fine," the boy barked, throwing his book bag against the wall and bolting into the kitchen.

Seeing how upset he was, Ruby gave Henry a moment alone, until she heard the sink water pouring, then followed him into the kitchen.

"H-Henry," she gaped, staring at him as he stood aggressively washing several plates.

Henry's forearms were red and crisscrossed with cuts, and the sight of it made Ruby freeze in her tracks.

"Henry," she repeated, when the boy didn't turn around.

"What?!" he finally snapped, turning his head. When he saw her staring at his arms, he cursed, "_Shit._"

Not having been used to this particular chore and having been too upset to notice that he'd rolled up his sleeves to prevent water from soaking his shirt, Henry had forgotten all about the angry marks on his arms.

"Look, I—" Henry tried, backing away from Ruby as she advanced on him.

Ruby was too fast for him, though, and had a gentle but firm grip on his hand before he could leave the room.

"Henry, why?" she asked, eyes welling with tears.

"B-Because," the boy stammered, his own eyes flooding with sorrow and frustration. "Because I don't know what else to do, okay? I needed to feel something other than what I feel normally."

"Oh, baby boy…" Ruby sighed, wrapping her arms around him and pressing him against her as she kept him locked in the embrace.

He released the tension in his muscles shortly after feeling her surround him and returned the embrace as he began to cry loudly.

"Mom," he sobbed. "I hate my life. I hate the kids at school. I hate the way they treat me."

"I know, baby," Ruby whispered, rubbing his back. "But I _promise you, _it will get better."

"How do you—" Henry started, but the sound of the front door opening and stilettos clacking on the hardwood floor interrupted their conversation.

Regina was home early. The two stared at her like deer in headlights until the woman spoke first.

"What's going—" Regina began, but saw Henry's arms and felt her jaw drop open. "Henry—"

"He's okay," Ruby asserted quickly, stepping between Regina and her son. "He's okay, Regina. Just… stay calm, okay?" When Regina nodded slowly as she swallowed hard, Ruby turned back to Henry and asked, "Tell Mom what you just told me."

"C-Can't," Henry sniffled.

"Why not?" Regina asked, trying to hold back the edge in her voice.

"You'll g-get mad at m-me."

Regaining her composure, Regina stepped towards Henry and took his hands, flipping his palms upwards so she could see the marks on his forearms.

"I'm _not_ mad," Regina said softly, rubbing her thumbs over his palms.

"You're just disappointed," Henry grumbled, trying to pull away.

But Regina was stronger than him and kept a steady hold on his hands before pulling him into a hug.

"I love you, Henry Daniel," the mayor told her son, stroking his hair back as she held him close. "It's gonna be okay."

"Promise?" he whimpered, causing Ruby to step in behind him and put a hand on his back.

When Ruby saw that Regina was choking back her own tears, she piped up, "We promise. It gets better."

Regina nodded, wiping dripping mascara from her cheek as she pressed a kiss to Henry's forehead.

"We're here for you, sweetheart. You're not alone. But you've gotta stop hurting yourself, okay?"

Henry whimpered, burying his face against his mother.

"No more," Ruby said, squeezing Henry's shoulder. "If you're upset, you come to us. We'll be there for you. I promise you that. Just like your mom said, you're not alone. We're here."

Nodding weakly, Henry turned to Ruby and threw his arms around her, hugging her tightly.

"I love you guys," he sniffled, keeping himself pressed against Ruby. "I'm so sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry," Regina told him, squeezing his shoulder. "We're gonna get you into counseling, okay? Everything's gonna be alright."

Henry shook his head rapidly in protest but didn't let Ruby go as he whined, "Don't make me."

"Will you go if I go?" Ruby asked suddenly, stepping back to look into his eyes as she held him by the shoulders.

"What?"

"Everyone's got stuff, Henry. Your stuff is painful, and talking to someone professional about it can help. And talking to us can too. You've just gotta open up a little."

"You have 'stuff?'" Henry asked quizzically, wiping his nose on the back of his hand.

"I told you, Hen. I've made a lot of bad choices in my life. And everyone can use the extra support. So, will you go? If I go too?"

Regina watched with a look of shock as the two both nodded their heads in agreement. When Ruby kissed Henry's forehead, the mayor smiled and wiped her tears again, pleasantly surprised by their interaction. Henry wasn't usually so… open to talking about feelings. But here he was, opening up to Ruby.

Ruby, of course, was just as surprised as Regina. _I got this mom thing, _she told herself, feeling her heart swell as she held Henry in her arms again. _I got this._

Beside her, Regina was thinking much of the same.

~!~!~

They put Henry to bed together, both kissing his forehead goodnight before turning out the light.

Once they were alone beneath the covers of the bed, Regina wrapped her arms around Ruby and whispered, "Such a good mommy."

When Regina kissed Ruby's cheek, Ruby shivered.

"Nah," Ruby protested, shrugging her shoulders.

Regina just rolled her eyes and let out a small laugh.

"You did a wonderful job today. You made a really terrible moment into something beautiful. You built trust with Henry. You helped him through something awful, and even convinced him to go to therapy. You were amazing, Ruby Lucas."

"I…"

"Are you really going to go to therapy?"

Ruby nodded slowly and leaned back against the pillows, saying, "Yep. I'll call the counseling center in the morning for me and Henry."

Regina felt tears welling in her eyes again as she crashed their lips together, kissing Ruby hard, with passion.

"Fuck," Ruby gasped, pulling away for air. "What was that about?"

"I love you, Ruby. Words can't say it all, but… just… know that, okay?" Regina replied gently, stroking her thumb over Ruby's cheek.

With another slow nod, the younger woman kissed the mayor's lips, this time with more tenderness and care.

"I love you too," she said softly, when they broke apart again.

As they kissed again, and the heat between them rose, Regina found her hands wandering down to Ruby's hips, making the woman shiver.

"Regina…" Ruby whispered breathlessly. "I…"

"I'm sorry," Regina said quickly, pulling away. "I didn't mean to make you—"

"No, it's okay. I… I've been thinking about this a lot, and, um…"

"And?"

"And I want to make love to you. I want this in our relationship. I want _you._ All of you."

Feeling dizzy and light-headed from the shock of Ruby's change of heart, Regina stared at her lover until Ruby grabbed her face and kissed her hard.

"Safe, though, okay?" Ruby confirmed, when Regina finally came up for air.

Regina nodded and whispered, "I was really hoping you'd change your mind."

Ruby felt her stomach flip when Regina winked at her, making her insides hot. And for the first time, she felt like a good lover.

* * *

**Author's note: Thank you guys so much for reading. Please, feel free to give feedback and let me know what you think. Hopefully it was an entertaining ride!**


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